Life as an SBS mom – Page 10

RSV and other adventures

This post is a follow-up on last week’s rant. It turns out that Patrick’s low-grade fevers were caused by RSV, a highly dangerous respiratory bug. He probably picked it up while he was trying to taste every piece of furniture in his hospital room the week before.

He was discharged to home before noon.. less than 24 hours after he was admitted. They sent us home with orders to visit the outpatient respiratory clinic as often as needed and boy have we been glad to have that resource! I think we caught this bug the first day… The symptoms didn’t really hit till Friday. Friday morning when he woke up he was working hard to breathe and my best efforts with steam and a bulb syringe wouldn’t budge things so I took him in. The respiratory therapist described the secretions as “glue”. He said that is was possible that Patrick was needing extra fluids, since I couldn’t give him drinks to keep him hydrated. So I stopped and asked for a prescription for some extra fluids.

The next night, he hardly slept! Finally at 3 a.m. I put the fluids on and he finally started to be able to clear his airway and went to sleep. When we took him in again his oxygen saturations weren’t in the dangerous zone, but they had dropped significantly.

That was the worst of it, though.. Patrick is actually doing much better these last couple of days. I think we finally have him rehydrated and he’s breathing much more easily now. We haven’t had to take him in for help in a couple of days now. I think that other than the long contagoius period and resulting quarantine, he’s on his way back to normal.

As for our car – well, it turned out to need $4000 in repairs. This is NOT what we wanted to hear in January, the month where we pay all of our out-of-pocket medical for the year.. We ended up approving the repairs, but have also decided that it’s time to sell that car and drive something more affordable to repair. And maybe once that car’s sold and our tax return comes back and things are a bit more stable, we can revisit the idea of having a practical car for me to drive in Seattle while leaving Brian with a practical car to drive here.

None of this excitement has done much to hinder Patrick, though. Despite being sick and grumpy and working to breathe, he is still growing up more and more every day. A week ago, I took a load of laundry downstairs. When I came upstairs I discovered Patrick halfway across the kitchen floor. He had dragged his IV pumps in their backpack by the tubing a good 4 feet trying to follow me downstairs. The next day we invented a safer way for him to get around.

Now when Patrick’s playing on the floor he wears a safety harness connected to a little cart that his backpack sits in. This way, he can get around the house without as high of a risk of ripping his central line out. He’s enjoying exploring how far he can go, and getting faster all the time! The funniest thing is how much he loves being under furniture. I’m amazed at all the places I find him. (And have to subsequently save him from.. because he gets his tubes and harness tied all around the furniture legs).

He also spent most of his last hospitalization improving his standing skills and he now dares stand himself up to some furniture and can walk around a big holding on… especially in his crib.

When it rains, it pours

Someday I’ll figure out why Patrick’s hospitalizations tend to concide with 1)holidays and vacations or 2)periods of stress for me.

If you don’t know, Patrick was hospitalized last week because of another bacterial infection in his bloodstream. The good news is that it quickly responded to antibiotics, quickly grew so it could be identified and more accurately treated, and therefore he quickly was back to himself. This infection was a reminder of how Patrick gradually is becoming more fragile the longer he waits for transplant, though. His spleen wasn’t very happy with this particular infection – just one side effect of residual liver damage.. and it started to cause his blood counts to fall. So even though the infection was caught and treated very early, we still had to keep a very close eye on him for a couple of days.

We took him home on Wednesday and he’s been doing pretty well since. That gave me a few days to really work hard on catching up on some impending deadlines and to deal with some unexpected problems.

Brian was complaining about the car not accelerating the way it normally does the day we brought Patrick home. He made an appointment to take it to the mechanic this week. That appointment is for tomorrow morning. Sunday morning, instead of making it’s usual complaining noises, though, it started to spew clouds of white smoke so think that I can’t see the car behind me.

Brian had business meetings in L.A. today, though, and I didn’t dare be without a car that Patrick’s carseat fit into. So we agreed to take his truck for a tune-up yesterday so that it would be in good condition should the car be gone for a while.

Well, an hour before I left to pick up the truck today, Patrick woke up from a nap fussy and feeling warm. The thermometer read 100.2, which is not technically a fever.. but added to the fact that today was the last day of his antibiotics and the fact that he’s been fussy since 4 a.m. I made a call to his GI to see if they wanted to test to make sure the infection wasnt recurring.

In the end, his doctor recommended that he come back to the hospital for observation. So – here we are. They’ve drawn blood cultures and done a test for respiratory bugs as well. And we’re hanging out here waiting to see what they find. Meanwhile, my car is sitting outside the mechanic so they can start work on it first thing in the morning. I’ll be surprised if the repairs for this come in under $1000. And my deadlines will just have to wait for a little while.

One thing about it, though.. if we were at home, I’d be up all night monitoring Patrick’s temperature and the other vital signs I know how to check. Here, the nurses will do that and Patrick and I can hopefully get some rest. And hopefully by morning Patrick will be well and ready to go home, my car will be diagnosed and on it’s road to recovery, and I can get back to simpler things like following Patrick around moving his backpack so he can work on his crawling skills and teaching him to eat vegetables.

Home again

I just wanted to take a minute to let you all know that Patrick and I made it home safely Saturday evening. The flight was a bit late and very full, but overall the trip went very smoothly. Patrick and I even got the opportunity to ride home next to a very kind woman. She and her husband are considering adopting and I got to spend the whole flight talking up adoption, especially special needs adoption. Patrick liked her, too, and even spent some time playing and cuddling with her during the flight.

We’re all pretty tired. Patrick and I both still have pretty bad coughs. Fortunately, Brian’s healthy.. but has been struggling to make up for the time he took off at work. On top of that, they scheduled a power outage last night. He ended up spending the whole night working to get servers back online.

On a different, and happy note, Brian and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary yesterday. With all that we’ve been through this week, it was a pretty simple celebration. My parents took Patrick for a couple of hours and we went to dinner and our first movie in well over a year.

It’s funny how life changes change perspective. Our anniversary was very low-key, yet I found myself overflowingly grateful to have the kind of marriage that doesn’t need a lot of frills to be happy. I love my husband more today than the day I married him.

Our Seattle Adventure

As many of you know, Patrick had an appointment for a check-up at Seattle Children’s this week. He was scheduled in clinic for about two hours Tuesday afternoon. We decided to try to make a family vacation out of this trip (since we haven’t had a vacation since adopting Patrick.) I think we need to stop saying the word vacation in our household. It seems that Patrick thinks that vacations are taken in the hospital – this trip did not go as planned.

We flew to Seattle on Sunday. We rented a mini van and drove to visit our good friends, the Laylands who live half an hour north of the city. We had a good dinner and visit with them and then spent the night at their house.

As soon as the plane touched down in Seattle, my nose started to run. At first I was sure it was allergies, but by the next morning there was no question that it was a cold. But, we were determined to have a vacation, so after a quick stop at K-Mart for some cold medicine and other things, we set off for the city.

After picking up some much touted Mighty-O donuts and checking into our hotel, we headed to the Seattle Aquarium. We were in the first exhibit, a sort of aquatic petting zoo, letting Patrick play in the water and touch sea creatures when I looked down and noticed blood on his PICC line. Closer examination revealed that there was something wrong … there was definitely a leak.

So I made a quick call to our transplant coordinator and we headed back to the ER, leaving a very patient Lindy and her daughter stranded in downtown Seattle to avoid exposing them to hospital ER germs.

We were checked in quickly in the ER and sent to an isolation room at the back because of Patrick’s and my cold symptoms. Soon the IV team came to look and confirmed that Patrick did, indeed, have a cracked PICC line. And it could not be repaired.

As a result, Patrick needed to have a peripheral IV put in until he could get another central (goes to the heart) line. And he needed to be admitted to the hospital because you can’t get as good of nutrition through just a hand or foot.

Wednesday afternoon, there was finally room in the schedule to take Patrick to “Interventional Radiology” where they could place a new PICC line with X-ray imaging to guide them. They took Patrick down at about 3 p.m. At 5:30, a doctor came to the room to talk to us.

He explained that they had tried to pass the wire through Patrick’s vein to put in the PICC line and had run into resistence. So, they injected contrast into his veins and saw that there had been a clot. In response to the clot, Patrick’s body created a branch of smaller vessels to route the blood where it needed to go. This meets the body’s need, but doesn’t leave enough room to put a catheter into the vein to the heart. Because of this, Patrick can no longer have PICC lines in his arms.

They put a little bit more stable of a line in his arm then that wouldn’t go bad as quickly as an IV in his hand or foot and then gave us two options: stay here and have a broviac line put in, or fly to Salt Lake, be admitted there, and have a broviac put in.

We decided that it was best to just stay and have it done here in Seattle. The surgeons here had gone into the PICC placement procedure and had seen the problem first hand. Having Seattle Children’s put in the line also meant that he’d have it done sooner, since he could be put on the next day’s list.

Beyond that, in order to place the line, they needed to do an ultrasound study to see what Patrick’s remaining central blood vessels looked like. Since not having many available blood vessels moves you up the transplant list, we thought it was wise to have the transplant hospital have a record of what options remained.

So – yesterday Patrick had a new broviac line put in. He went to surgery about 3 p.m. and they were able to put the new line right where they wanted it. When I talked to the surgeon at 5 he sounded pretty good about how the procedure had gone.

There had, however, been one slight problem. Patrick’s stomach still doesn’t easily drain all the way. Even though he hadn’t eaten anything, and his stomach had been suctioned, it still wasn’t empty. As a result, he aspirated during the procedure. The surgeon said that they’d been able to clean out his lungs, though, and didn’t seem overly concerned. With any aspiration, there is a risk of pneumonia. He asked to keep Patrick 24 hours for observation, and then said he’d be able to go home.

I went to Patrick’s room to wait for him. When he finally made it upstairs, he was very upset. He’d curled himself into a little ball and was crying miserably. The nurse immediately set to work getting pain medications for him. And we decided to put him on monitors.

Things just seemed to get worse. The monitors showed that the oxygen levels in his blood were dropping, so we put an oxygen mask near his mouth to help keep them up. His heart rate was rising. He was breathing very heavily.

The nurse called in other nurses to help her and started taking vitals… And discovered Patrick was running a fever. They called down his doctors. While I explained the scarier things in Patrick’s medical history, his nurse wandered around the room making space to work if things got worse.

They ordered blood cultures to look for infection, gave Patrick some Tylenol, and got an X-ray of his chest.

Finally, they called the “Rapid Response Team”, which is a team from the PICU who come to the bedside. They watched him, took some tests bedside, and promised to come back to check on him within the hour.

Once all of the tests were done, I picked Patrick up again and he finally started to calm down. They started antibiotics while I rocked him to sleep. His heart rate was still high, and the antibiotics were making his blood pressure low, but he seemed to be starting to feel better.

As things started to settle down, I asked the nurse to help me reach elders from my church. One of the doctors in the room had mentioned earlier in the week that he had gone to school at BYU and we’d talked about how we’d been there the same year both studying Spanish. He spoke up and said “I can take care of that for you.” It was subtle, but we both understood that he was telling me that he was an elder and could help me with what he knew I was going to ask for.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints we believe in the gift of healing by the laying on of hands by those who have authority from God. Brian is an elder in our church and had given Patrick one of these special blessings before he left. And this kind doctor subtly waited around until the nurses had left the room and then layed his hands on Patrick’s head and gave him another blessing, confirming the promises of health and comfort and strength.

Patrick slowly began turning around. His fever dropped and he started to sleep comfortably. A respiratory therapist came and tried to get Patrick to cough by pounding on his chest and back. Finally, she suctioned deep down into his chest and helped to get a lot of what was in his lungs out.

By midnight, Patrick was sound asleep. I stayed up to help the nurse get a few more things settled and went to bed. We slept till 7 a.m., when the doctors came in to check on him.

This morning, Patrick woke up with a smile. He was a bit weak and groggy at first, but has just gotten better and better all day long. Just an hour ago, he was climbing all over me on the couch in the room playing with toys and jumping. You would never know anything had been wrong.

The doctors are pleased enough with his improvement that they gave me the go ahead to book a flight back home for tomorrow. We’ll leave the hospital a little after noon to catch a 3:45 p.m. flight. We should be home by 6 p.m.

I almost hate to write this because any time I’ve said that we were doing something this week, things have changed. But this time it feels like we really are going home. And I’ll be happy to be there.

I do have to share one example of the goodness of people in this world. While Patrick was in surgery, I put some of our clothes in the laundry room here. I got it as far as the dryer, but then when Patrick came back in such bad shape from surgery, didn’t make it back to it. I expected, when I headed back at midnight, to find my clothes piled in a basket somewhere. Instead, someone had taken the time to neatly fold them for me. This touched me because any parent using the laundry room here is doing it because their child is sick enough that they’re expecting to stay here for some time. The person who folded my clothes was certainly going through their own difficult time and would have been totally justified in being upset and offended at someone leaving clothes in a dryer. Instead, they took the time to make my day a little better.

This is just one example of the kindnesses that make raising a child with health problem so very rewarding.

Festival of Trees

The Festival of Trees is a big Christmas tradition here in Utah. Groups and individuals decorate and donate trees, wreaths, crafts and more. They’re displayed to the public for a week, and available for sale. All proceeds from sales, admissions, and goodies sold are donated back to Primary Children’s Hospital to help families in need.

We took Patrick to the Festival tonight. He wasn’t so sure about the crowds and was only vaguely interested in the trees. He did really like the chains used to protect the trees and the excuse to ride with Daddy and pull Mommy’s hair. At the end of the evening, we took him to meet Santa, which was a pretty good 1st Santa experience. Patrick loved his beard and sleigh bells.

This year’s Festival was a bit bittersweet for Brian and myself. There were a couple of trees there honoring friends’ children who passed on this year. Those brought tears to our eyes. It meant all the more to know first-hand the tender moments that happen in a children’s hospital. Just one way that Patrick has changed our lives and hearts for the better.

Update: Two weeks (and a day) after surgery

Well, it’s been another week. Most people are surprised to learn that we are still at the hospital. Well, we did think that the recovery would be no more than two weeks.

But here we are.

It turns out that Patrick’s large intestine is needing much more time to adapt than was anticipated. The problem is that, never having been used, first it had to wake up, and then it has to stretch back to a normal size.

They did a contrast enema today. That means they squirted contrast in Patrick’s bottom and then watched on X-ray as it moved up through his large intestine, and then his small intestine.

The good news is that it moved through without problems. There are no obstructions or strictures. The bad news is that, well, it still resembles a long noodle more than a colon. And it’s fitted to a small intestine that is quite stretched out.

So the stretched out, and therefore weaker, small intestine is trying to push things through a super tight large intestine (imagine a balloon that hasn’t yet been inflated). And it’s just not working very well.

I’ll talk to Patrick’s surgeon tomorrow about the study and see if there is anything more that can be done. So far, though, the answer I’m given most often is that we just need to wait. Hopefully time and use will balance things out.

In the meantime, we just keep waiting here. I don’t know quite what to do with myself. Without feeding, ostomy, IV’s (I’m not allowed to touch them), or even diapers really, there isn’t much in the way of my normal nursing duties to do. So I’m trying to spend my time just being a mom… playing with Patrick and helping with the basic things like sleep, comfort, and cuddles.

The good news is that Patrick actually feels quite well, as long as we don’t let too much build up in his stomach. And this lends itself to fun new adventures like baths in a bathtub and learning to sit.

It’s not the easiest thing being cooped up in this tiny crowded room together with nurses going in and out all the time. We get a bit bored of each other sometimes. But we’re doing the best we can and just praying that Patrick’s body is up for the challenge it’s been given.

A day in the life . . .

Things have been pretty calm since we brought Patrick home from the hospital this time. It takes a lot of extra work to keep up on all the new medications he needs, but otherwise life has been calm.

But – it occurs to me that I should state that our calm isn’t exactly the same as others’ calm. Let’s take today as an example. It was a pretty good day.

We got up early today. Patrick woke about hourly through the night because he’s still not used to being at home. I get up and give him a pacifier and put his blankets back on him and he goes right to sleep. I was a bit tired when the alarm went off at 6 to tell me Patrick’s vancomyacin was due. I’d forgotten to take it out of the fridge last night, so I had to run around with it tucked under my arm to get it warm while I got everything else ready.

I prepared a bottle. Disconnected Patrick’s feeding tube, replacement fluids line and ostomy drainage tube. By then he was screaming to be fed so I got him out of the crib and fed him his 1/3 tsp. of formula then rocked him back to sleep. (And me, too). At 7:30 I put him back down to check to make sure Howie was up.

He was pretty awake then, so I went ahead and got him up, changed his ostomy bag and g-tube dressing, flushed his picc line, and got him dressed.

Because we were up so early I decided that it was a good day to go shopping. It’s Howie’s birthday on Sunday so I packed a bottle to give myself extra time to shop. (Patrick eats every 3 hours, which can be a narrow window of opportunity).

I’d been in the store about half an hour when my cell phone rang. It was Patrick’s nurse confirming an appointment for her to come draw blood for labs. It was 11:30 and she wanted to come at 12:15. So I made a mad scramble to focus and finish the grocery shopping so I could get home on time.

At 12 we finally made it out of Wal-mart and I loaded Patrick and the groceries into the car, then shut off his TPN pumps so that the labs would be accurate. (Need to give the blood time to carry off what’s in the PICC line.) I hurried home and just got the groceries into the house and put away and Patrick fed when his nurse knocked on the door.

I gathered up the supplies she’d need for the tests then held him while she drew them. She asked what his last temperature had been, and since I hadn’t taken once since he woke up, she did. It read 99.5.

Any rise in temperature can be an early sign of infection so I stuck a thermometer in my pocket to do temp checks every half hour. Then I took him upstairs to change his diaper only to discover his ostomy bag had leaked. He was pretty mad, but I pulled off a quick change and took his temperature again.. Still high.

I grabbed a quick lunch and put on replacement fluids (saline solution via IV). He needed some anyway and if he runs a fever he needs extra hydration. By then he was getting quite mad and so I piled everything to work on his tubing change around me and snuggled him up in my lap to try to help him sleep.

At 2 I traded replacement fluids for IV antibiotics, and when those were done, started prepping the new day’s TPN. When I opened up the backpack around 2:30 to see what time I had left in the day’s TPN program, I noticed a bad mistake. I’d failed to turn the pumps back on after the blood draw.

Without TPN running, Patrick’s blood sugar plummets, so I hurried and got him a bottle and then gave him a couple of licks of a glucose tablet to help keep him up. I made a record fast tubing change then reprogrammed the pumps to slowly “taper up” the rate of infusion to avoid going from very low blood sugar to something too high.

Finally with TPN running again, Patrick calmed down. But his temp was still between 99 & 99.5. My next option was to try to get him to rest. So we snuggled up on the couch so he would sleep. He’d sleep as long as I was right there holding him. So, while he slept, I talked to his transplant coordinator in Seattle and then sent an e-mail to his GI here to try to get sorted out a positive blood culture that showed up in his labwork last week.

The evening was calmer. Brian worked a bit late which gave me extra time to get dinner ready.

Around 8 we started working on the bedtime routine. One of Patrick’s meds needs to be given on an empty stomach so he gets that around 8:30. Then Brian and I work together to make new formula & bottles for the night and to prime the tubing for the feeding pump that drips formula into his stomach all night. He gets one antibiotic through his g-tube right now. We have to draw it out of a vial with a syringe and then change tips to something that fits his feeding tube and flush it in there.

Then we connect his feeding tube, flush his PICC line to make sure it’s still running well, and change him into P.J.’s. Tonight he gets to sleep in a onesie to help keep his temperature down, though.

At 9, Patrick ate and then curled up and went to sleep. Because Brian was home, we stayed up watching T.V. while we gave antibiotics. He gets 3 at night, plus more replacement fluids. We have to switch medicines and flush lines at 9:30, 10:00 and 11:00 p.m.

And that is why I’m up blogging right now. His last antibiotics are just finishing up, so I need to go take them off and make sure that the unused line is “heparinized” for the night. If I’m quiet, I hope to do it without waking him and make it to bed by midnight.

It sounds like a lot, but this has actually been a mostly relaxing day.. except the part in the middle when Patrick’s TPN was off and he felt awful. Last temp was actually low… so I hope that the other high numbers were a result of the heat of the day or the fact that he’s cutting a few teeth.

Re-evaluation at Seattle Children’s

You may have heard that Patrick had a day of office visits scheduled at Seattle Children’s hospital last week. After his cardiac arrest and the many complications that followed, they wanted to see him again to see if anything had changed that would affect his transplant status. They also wanted to look to see if he needed to be listed for a liver transplant.

What you may not have heard is that Patrick was hospitalized Sunday night with another infection. This time it was a staph infection which, if caught early, can be treated through his central line and clear easily or, if more established or more resistent, could become a very persistent infection that can hang on for months.

I called Seattle Children’s and tried to reschedule our appointment. However, Dr. Horslen was going to be away for the next several weeks and they didn’t want him to stay inactive on the transplant list for that long. After a few days and some discussion, we made the decision on Tuesday to have Patrick admitted at Seattle Children’s so they could both treat the infection and do the evaluation.

We got the final go ahead late in the day Tuesday. I was up till 1 a.m. packing. Wednesday he was discharged from Primary Children’s with just time to go directly to the airport. The flight went well. They only real difficulty was that Patrick’s ostomy bag started leaking at takeoff. Well, and that I got a tad bit lost in the airport because we landed in the international terminal and airports aren’t as well marked when you have to take the back elevator routes.

Nevertheless, we arrived at Seattle Children’s around 6 p.m. – just as they were changing shifts. We met part of the medical team that would be following him and, as usual, wowed them by giving them in writing all the information they really would need. It took some time to get orders written, so we had another late night as labwork and meds came trickling in. It was about 2 a.m. before we made it to bed again.

The nice thing about being inpatient is that it gave me a sense of what things will be like during his recovery after transplant. We started with an early abdominal ultrasound, specifically a doppler. Yes, this looks a bit like the weather map images, only it shows the flow of blood through the veins. They were looking to see if portal hypertension was developing. (As the liver scars, it starts to send blood through other vessels creating extra blood pressure through them. It can cause lots of complications.)

The team rounded about 10 a.m. It was a big group, about 15 people, including his GI Dr. Horslen, his transplant coordinator, nutritionist, and others who specifically follow him. They had looked at the ultrasound and the labs from the night before and at his labwork. Both looked as good or better than they had in April.

Dr. Horslen came back later in the day to talk to me and said he was very glad we’d come. He’d imagined he’d find Patrick in much worse shape after the reports he’d been getting. He did a physical examination, too, and then said that he didn’t think Patrick’s liver was really in bad shape yet. He said that the problems with his spleen were probably mostly due to the many months of infection that Patrick has been through, meaning that hopefully when he’s healthy, his spleen will improve, too.

We discussed other goals, too… including taking down Patrick’s ostomy and replacing his PICC line with a broviac line when he could have surgery. We’ve been going the rounds on the question on whether or not Patrick should have his g-tube removed, too, before portal hypertension makes it bleed and be more difficult to close. However, Dr. Horslen said he was under the impression it was unused when he recommended that, and that if we were using it, he’d be ok with us leaving it in.

It was great to talk to him and to watch him play with Patrick. Not only is he brilliant, but he has a wonderful bedside manner. It made me happy to remember that there was at least one big reason why we chose Seattle Children’s for transplant.

We also had visits that day from the nutritionist and a care coordinator. And then in the afternoon we got to have a little bit of lazy time. Child Life brought Patrick some bubbles and it was fun to watch him experience those for the first time.

When the nurse came on the night shift and Patrick was playing with her while she took vitals she frowned and said “Do you really have to go home tomorrow?” I was surprised because I’d expected to need to be there at least through the weekend… But before midnight they had me making lists of what would be needed for me to be able to go home on the 5 p.m. flight the next day.

Rounds in the morning confirmed that they felt Patrick could go… assuming that we made sure he got a visit from Dr. Reyes, his surgeon.

The rest of the morning I packed and kind of waited for word that we were really going. A volunteer came to play with Patrick so I’d have hands free. About noon, I still hadn’t heard one way or another, so my nurse started making calls for me. I looked at flights and now there was only 1 left and the price had doubled. But – the insurance company agreed they’d rather pay for extra airfare than another night in the hospital – and so I started working on booking a flight home.

Dr. Reyes came in about 1. We talked again about the importance of taking down Patrick’s ostomy. He told me a bit about starting intestinal transplants in Pittsburgh 15 years ago. (He was on the team that did the first ones.) And he explained how they’d learned that the surgery wasn’t really effective without a strong GI team behind it to make sure the patients stayed healthy. He also explained that one thing they’d learned in that time is that survival rates are better without an ostomy.

I ran our other surgical plans past him (liver biopsy, broviac line, and possibly g-tube.) He looked at me and said, “Leave the g-tube in. He’ll need in later.” So I guess that settles that.

He left and I immediately went back to booking a flight. Meanwhile, the care coordinator came and brought me a cab voucher. My nurse got Patrick ready and booked the cab while I got the ticket. And I literally hung up the phone, put away a few things, and walked out the door.

The flight home went smoothly. Howie was there to meet us. We had some adventures waiting on the way home including a flat tire, a broken jack, and eventually a tow home. But at last, we are home.

They discussed Patrick’s transplant status in their meeting yesterday. They were ready to move him back to status 1 for a small bowel. They will not yet list him for a liver. When they checked his labs, though, they found a blood culture positive for infection… so the doctors are discussing what to do now. He’s not sick and it could have been a contaminated sample. But they have to work that out before Patrick’s listing is made active again. Time will tell.

Recovering at home

I’m happy to announce some tremendous news! Patrick made a miraculous and quick recovery after my last post. The day after my last post, after much fasting and prayer by friends, family, and even people we don’t know, we walked into the ICU to find Patrick smiling and playing in his crib. He turned his head, saw Brian and me, and smiled. Over the next couple of days he continued to make steady improvement.

They gave him some steroids which helped reduce the swelling in his throat and his breathing became much less labored. Ear, nose & throat came and looked at his upper airway and determined that his vocal chords were ok and that, although he had swelling below them, that there wasn’t any evidence of scarring or other permanent damage. The only limitation that they placed on him was that he not be reintubated except for life-saving procedures for the next 6 weeks.

Neurology also came by several times in that day and watched as he progressed, began interacting with me, focusing his eyes, moving his arms and hands more normally… and in the end decided that there didn’t seem to be any evidence of a problem there that would merit further attention.

Next, they scheduled for him to go back to Special Procedures and to have another PICC line placed. Because his antifungal medications aren’t compatible with TPN, he needs two points of access. Amazingly, they were able to get a double lumen PICC placed. This means that there are essentially two tubes wrapped into one and placed in the same vein… instead of having a line in each arm. With that in place, they removed all of the other lines in his body.

The PICC made him sore, but by Thursday that was their primary complaint and they decided to transfer him out of the ICU into the infant unit.

Also Thursday he had a swallow study done. This means that they mixed contrast into apple sauce and put some him a bottle and had me feed it to him while they watched it go down his throat on floroscope. Having fasted or been fed by G-tube for 2 weeks, Patrick thought this was heaven and was furious when it was done. The end result was that he swallows perfectly… pretty amazing for a kid who is barely allowed to eat.

That confirmed, they started giving him bottles again. However, his gut had gone unused so long that it’s still working on recovering. We started out with just 2.5 cc’s every 3 hours…that’s about 1/4 tsp.

Saturday night Patrick’s PICC line got tugged and the vein started to swell. He woke up in the middle of the night and really didn’t sleep the rest of the night. We worried that it might need to be replaced again… but with some rest and elevation and heat, it slowly started to show signs of recovery.

Finally, Monday his electrolytes, stool output, feeds, and PICC line were all stable enough and at noon that day we were able to bring him home.

You should have seen how big his eyes got when we pulled into the garage! I was all grins and giggles when we walked into the house. As per tradition, once we got business squared away, Patrick and I curled up in my bed and went right to sleep. He slept till 5:30, completely peaceful.

We’ve been home for a few days now and are finally getting back into the swing of things. Family and friends have been great – bringing in meals and coming to sit with him during the day so that I can get things caught up around the house. He’s having a hard time getting used to sleeping through the night again. He doesn’t like being on his back since spending so much time in a bed. And I’m having a very hard time getting used to caring for a double lumen picc. But we are slowly moving forward and today, for the first time, has felt like routine again.

He needs to be seen ASAP in Seattle so that they can determine if he can be put back as status 1 on the intestinal transplant list. They are also looking at possibly listing him for a liver-intestine transplant, as well… since the problems with his spleen could be evidence of scarring in his liver. We have a trip planned from Wednesday through Friday next week… with appointments most of the day Wednesday. This will be my first time travelling alone with Patrick. It’ll be a process, I’m sure… But hopefully well worth the effort. If nothing else, it’ll be good practice for me.

It’s hard to believe that just weeks ago we were sure we’d lost our little boy. He has so much light and life in his spirit right now. He’s pretty weak still and we’re working on getting him back to eating what he had been eating before… And both of us have to get used to that line in his arm. But things in this house are calm and happy. It’s so good to be together… and so good to be home!

How everything changed in a moment

WARNING: THIS POST INCLUDES DETAILS OF PATRICK’S CARDIAC ARREST AND SUBSEQUENT PROBLEMS IN THE ICU, INCLUDING PICTURES.

I’ve been asked to explain several times the events of this week. I’ve decided it’s probably easiest if I just take some time to sit down and write this in a blog. It will save frequent emotional repetitions for me… preserve some of the last week while it’s still fresh in my mind… and hopefully give some answers for those who are wondering how things got to where they are. These are things that are still hard for me to remember and talk about so please don’t be hurt if I don’t want to talk more about what I’m posting in this entry.

In my last post, I wrote about a yeast infection called candida that Patrick had in his central line and in his blood. He was hospitalized for 11 days in June for that infection and then went home on antifungal medications. On July 5th his fever returned and we came back to the hospital to learn that the infection had grown back again.

In order to treat the persistent infection, they decided to return to giving him a very dangerous medication called amphotericin (a.k.a. “ampho-terrible”). He was on a very high dose but seemed to be doing ok. He always got chills while it was being given and wanted to be held and held very still, but all other signs pointed towards it doing it’s job without too much problem.

On the 15th, we were making plans to go home. We would give 3 more weeks of treatment at home to make sure the infection didn’t come back. However, before we went home, we decided to try giving the medication the same way he’d get it there. This meant shutting off his TPN (IV nutrition) for a few hours while the medicine was being administered.

He’d been doing so well that I ran home to shower and take care of a few things right before they were supposed to start the ampho. I got back an hour into it and he just didn’t seem to be tolerating it well. His hands were as cold as ice, despite several blankets and heatpacks. He was pretty restless. We tried to feed him to comfort him, but that just make him sicker.

About 3:30 p.m. he got really agitated and started to squirm and pull at his ears and cry. Then he just went limp. I called his nurse in and she called in one of the charge nurses. They took him from me and started administering CPR.

They also hit a button on the wall that pages for a “Code Blue” on the PA system. In under a minute the room was filled with people. A PCT who had cared for Patrick before came immediately to my side, as did a social worker and they stayed with me until we were delivered into the hands of another social worker in the PICU.

One doctor took charge of calling out orders while another kept track of everything that had been done. There were at least 10 people bedside helping with CPR, medications, watching vitals and I don’t know what else.

After about 15 minutes (a.k.a. an eternity) they finally revived him and they took Patrick straight to the Pediatric ICU. I followed with the social workers and his nurses in another elevator.

On the way up I finally got a hold of Brian and told him to come up and where to find us.

Normally parents are taken to a waiting room, but they knew us and how involved we are with Patrick’s care so they let us stay and watch as they placed an arterial line to monitor his blood pressure and worked to find out what happened.

The best guess is that his weakened little body was hit with a few things at once. Being off his TPN caused his blood sugar to drop. At the same time, his weakened kidneys weren’t processing potassium in the right way. When those two things hit at the same time, it created a sort of perfect storm that caused him to seize and caused his heart to stop.The next day they worked madly to stabilize him. His organs had been starved for oxygen for long enough that they’d forgotten how to work. His blood sugar was all over the charts. His potassium levels were out of control. He was anemic and his platelet count just kept dropping. His nurse that day didn’t sit down for the entire 12 hour shift.

Over the next few days things started to stabilize but there were a lot of things out of whack still. His spleen, which had already been in bad shape because of his cholestasis (liver damage) and prolonged infection, decided to protect itself by sequestering all the platelets that went through it. As a result, although they were giving multiple transfusions, his platelet count was still low and he was bleeding easily from anywhere that could bleed. His kidneys also had kind of shut down and so all of the extra fluids being poured in to give transfusions and electolytes and medicines weren’t being cleared by his body. Instead they were soaking through the veins and collecting in the other tissues of his body.

To top it all off, he had some bacteria “leak” from his gut and get into his bloodstream causing a bacterial blood infection.

Saturday they tried to extubate him, but by Sunday morning it was pretty obvious that he was having trouble breathing. X-rays showed that the fluid in his tissues had made it’s way into his lungs. And so they had to put him back on the ventilator and started to give him medicines to make his body shed the extra fluid.

We watched and prayed and waited and tried to get ready to say goodbye until Wednesday when something amazing happened. Patrick peeked at me through heavy eyelids and seemed to know that I was there… He started reaching with his hands and so I gave him a rattle… and he shook it! The next day I was actually able to get him to laugh!

As the day went on, he woke up little by little and started to play peek-a-boo and smile and hold toys. His X-rays and labwork improved. As he woke up, they started to wean him slowly off the ventilator and off the sedatives.

His throat was very swollen and we weren’t sure if the airway would stay open without the tube in. But Friday evening they decided the only way to know would be to try. So they took him off the ventilator and put him on high flow oxygen. And he was the happiest kid you could imagine.

Without the breathing tube to bother him, they were able to turn off his sedatives and we became aware of what might be another problem. We noticed as Patrick started waking up that he wasn’t focusing his eyes well… staring off into space and not always following what’s going on in the room. He’s also been holding his head and arms very still. When these issues didn’t go away when the sedatives started wearing off, we became more concerned.

Neuro came to see him and said that they think there is reason to evaluate him. He will have an MRI on Monday as well as a neurodevelopmental workup. There is a possibility, especially considering how long he was down, that Patrick’s brain was damaged. Neuro will be able to help us see if that is true… and if it is, they’ll help us do all we can to help him do the best that he can.

Regardless of how weak his body is, though… the spirit inside of it is still Patrick’s. His eyes still sparkles and he loves to play and laugh with us. It has been a gift to be able to hold him and play with him again… to know he knows us and loves us still. It breaks our hearts to see that magnificent spirit confined by such a weak little body and we hope that those limitations will be brief.

As far as long term planning- Patrick will need to stay in the ICU until he is better able to breathe on his own. He is doing it right now, but he is working very hard at it. He’s on hold for transplant until he can go back to Seattle for another evaluation. At the very least, he will probably now need a liver transplant along with the small bowel transplant. We won’t know if he’s still healthy enough for transplant, though, until he is evaluated again. We’ll continue working with the doctors and therapists and nurses here to help Patrick regain as much as he can. And the rest we’ll leave in the Lord’s hands.

We’ve always known that there was a plan for Patrick’s life. We’re just humbled to get to be the parents in that plan. We trust Heavenly Father to take care of the rest.