Tag Archives: proud moments

Transplant day 5

First of all, let me say that this was a much better day. Last night, right after I finished posting, the team came in and said that they felt it was time to mix up the pain medicine routine. Immediately, he became more himself. Also, right afterwards, respiratory therapy stopped by to start doing a treatment they call CPT. Unlike the mask that terrified Patrick, CPT is just like a great big massage. It put Patrick right to sleep.

It also told us that it was time for mommy to sleep in Patrick’s room. So, with Patrick asleep from his breathing treatment, I snuggled right up next to him and crashed. With pain under control, his oxygen saturation popped up to almost normal (though with oxygen running). Patrick and I slept snuggled all night. Since he is too sore to roll over and attach, he slept holding onto my ear. (That is sweeter than it sounds.)  And by morning, he’d found his voice again. We gave him a bath and put on a new hospital gown.

Physical therapy came by early in the morning and we decided that with him feeling better, it was time to try walking again. They fitted him with a child sized walker and away we went. Patrick was scared at first and just kept crying for mommy to save him. I just got down on my knees and cheered him on and pointed to the next landmark until we got him to where Daddy was waiting to hold him in the chair.

The rest of the morning was quiet. They tried a nebulizer. He hated it. They discontinued those orders (hooray.) I did laundry and made a few more phone calls to Patrick’s doctors and therapists to cancel his appointments and let them know where he’d gone.

And before i knew it, it was almost noon. Time for Brian to leave to catch his flight home. So we walked Patrick back to bed with still some tears, but a stronger body and more courage. Then kissed daddy goodbye and settled in for a nap.

Patrick was in a great mood after nap. I’d decided we needed to do something sitting up in bed to help his lungs clear this afternoon.. So I reached into the big box of trick-or-treat prizes and found a set of paints. Patrick was SO excited! We gathered up a too-large hospital gown and pulled up his table and away he went to work.

The nurse gave him a cup of water to rinse his brush in and he immediately tried to drink it. Patrick is desperate for a drink of water.  He was furious when I told him no. (Thanks to steroids and not feeling well, little tantrums are big explosions right now.).. But eventually accepted the little pink mouth moistener that his medical team had approved and his mouth looks and feels so much better.

Patrick’s transplant doctors stopped by to check on him this afternoon. Their jaws about hit the floor as they saw him today compared to yesterday, up in bed and playing. And that’s what he did for most of the rest of the day. We painted. We blew bubbles. We played with a harmonica. Child life sent a medical student to come make putty out of borax and glue. After changing his ostomy bag and taking a short nap, we got Patrick up one more time and walked him to the chair. This time he was pretty quick and made it with no tears. We sat in the chair and called grandma, then watched the new episode of Daniel Tiger, then walked him back to bed where he’s been playing with the cars he got for his birthday happily ever since.

We still had our hard moments. Beginning to understand having his ostomy has Patrick worried. It broke my heart when he apologized to the nurse that she’d had to clean him up when the bag leaked. And the tears over wanting a drink of water are heartbreaking. But these are big, big things that would upset anyone, big or small. And they won’t last forever.

Again, the kindness of family, friends and strangers has astounded us. Gifts and cards arrived at just the right times today.  It seemed that in all of the hard moments, something else would show up. Thank you, thank you for your generosity.

Summer vacation

Tomorrow marks 3 weeks since Patrick’s last day of school. For most people, summer vacation is in full swing. For us, we’re finally starting to get our bearings. It’s been an unusual start to summer.

Things seemed smooth enough. I spent that first weekend after school ended gathering myself to start a tradition Patrick and I are calling “Mommy School.” Between therapies, Patrick has a LOT of “homework”. He’s supposed to spend 10 minutes every day doing eye exercises. He’s supposed to be practicing writing and cutting and and gluing and using a keyboard. We’re supposed to be strengthening his core, working on activities that use both sides of his body evenly, and encouraging him to cross midline. He’s supposed to be practicing telling me stories in various verb tenses, using articles, and correcting his use of pronouns. Plus working on vocabulary building, sorting skills, categorization skills, social skills, attention skills and on and on. All of this to help keep him progressing on his current trajectory which, discouraging as I may find it, is approximately two years behind most of his peers.

Except, it seems, when it comes to the alphabet. Patrick has the alphabet down pat and tested in the top 25% of his preschool class.

Our first day of Mommy School. Learning the shapes of letters by building them from playdough.

Our first day of Mommy School. Learning the shapes of letters by building them from playdough.

A practical life mommy school lesson on how to sweep.

A practical life mommy school lesson on how to sweep.

And so, this summer we introduced “Mommy School.” We’re doing an abbreviated letter of the day curriculum, since letters are what Patrick loves. Every week is assigned two letters and every day a word that starts with that letter. Then I go out and scrounge up books, worksheets, crafts, activities and field trips on that theme.

Teddy Bears

B is for Bears, and a teddy bear picnic.

The first day of Mommy School went GREAT! Until, that is, Patrick developed a fever. The next day of summer break was spent cuddling a sick, feverish kid in a chair. He had a cold and we were grateful to be able to stay home sick like other children. By Thursday, Patrick had mustered the energy to play on his own again. But, by then, I was sick.

Patrick sees 3 therapists on a regular basis in the summer. It's hard work, but fun too. Patrick's reward for a good hour of work in physical therapy is the chance to climb the rock wall.

Patrick sees 3 therapists on a regular basis in the summer. It’s hard work, but fun too. Patrick’s reward for a good hour of work in physical therapy is the chance to climb the rock wall.

In occupational therapy, Patrick gets to take sensory breaks in the gym. Diving in the ball pool is a favorite exercise.

In occupational therapy, Patrick gets to take sensory breaks in the gym. Diving in the ball pool is a favorite exercise.

Our second week of summer break, Patrick and I were finally starting to be healthy again. But Brian wasn’t. And it didn’t matter if we were healthy or not because on Saturday of that week, my little sister was getting married in my backyard. So, I declared “C is for Camping” and we pitched a tent in the living room. Amazingly, this both occupied Patrick and kept the room clean while he binged on movies and we scrambled to finish last minute details on the house and yard.

I meant to pitch a tent outdoors, but it rained all that day, so we brought it inside. It worked so well we kept it a second day, too.

I meant to pitch a tent outdoors, but it rained all that day, so we brought it inside. It worked so well we kept it a second day, too.

We also sneaked in a couple of outings.. a family night at Red Butte Garden and a field trip with friends to the Natural History Museum. (I picked up a free month-long museum pass at the local library just so we wouldn’t have excuses to just stay home and work.) Besides, in order to get Patrick to let us work, we let him watch his birthday movies on endless loop, which left us all craving some family adventures.

Patrick loved the children's garden best, especially hopping on stepping stones across the fish pond.

Patrick loved the children’s garden best, especially hopping on stepping stones across the fish pond.

The best part of our trip to the Natural History Museum was not the dinosaur bones. It was the chance to be there with other friends who know exactly what living with Short Gut is like.

The best part of our trip to the Natural History Museum was not the dinosaur bones. It was the chance to be there with other friends who know exactly what living with Short Gut is like.

The wedding went smoother than expected, though playing hostess and trying to keep Patrick from completely melting down about how his house was filled with children who were not sharing his toys with him kept me busy enough that I didn’t manage to take a single picture.

I was too busy to take pictures, but there were lots of cameras there. I snagged this one off my mom's Facebook page.

I was too busy to take pictures, but there were lots of cameras there. I snagged this one off my mom’s Facebook page.

My sister was a beautiful bride and the happy couple truly looked happy and in love. Patrick eventually settled down with Grandma who let him fetch endless cups of water from the refreshment table and pour them all over himself and her and all went well enough.

Except that it turns out that maybe the bug that had Brian sick isn’t the one that had Patrick sick as I ran a fever all night.

So, Sunday we took a sick day and we stayed and home and did absolutely nothing except that Brian cooked us a delicious roast. The day was delightful and refreshing. Perfect after two frantic weeks.

Yesterday, I put together a week’s worth of Mommy School worksheets, made a chore chart, got Patrick’s TPN labs drawn and kind of regrouped. Then, in the late afternoon, I changed Patrick’s central line dressing and discovered that, much to my dismay, what had once been a tiny little hole in the clotted side of the line had grown big enough that I was worried it would pull off. But it was after hours and I wanted the head of the IV team to be involved in choices about the repair.

So today, we spent our kind of restart to summer day exactly as summer days seem to go for us.

Over breakfast, I made a bunch of phone calls to people at the hospital trying to find the best way to get the line repaired. Eventually, I sat down and had a little cry because I wasn’t getting in touch with the people I wanted and I knew we’d have to go to the E.R.

Then, Howie gave me a pep talk and a hug and a kiss. Then he talked to Patrick and helped him to gather the courage to get his line repaired. (He was terrified that it was going to hurt when they cut the broken part off of his line.) We headed up to the E.R. where our timing really was perfect. We didn’t wait at all for them to start working. Patrick’s line is a different brand than our hospital stocks because it was placed in Nebraska, so that complicated things and the repair took about an hour and looks a bit sloppy. But it will do for a clotted line.

And then, when all was done, we headed off to the Children’s Museum for a couple of hours. We managed to get there at a nice slow time on a nice slow day. Patrick actually got to enjoy exploring the museum and would have happily stayed there all day. His favorite spots were the Bob the Builder exhibit, the gas station, and the pretend E.R.

Builder Patrick

I didn't know they'd built on a pretend E.R. with the life flight display. Patrick found a little girl willing to play the patient and had a great time

I didn’t know they’d built on a pretend E.R. with the life flight display. Patrick found a little girl willing to play the patient and had a great time

Eventually, we had to go because I was parked in a 2 hour parking space and, honestly, we both needed a rest. So we stopped in at daddy’s office to pick up the leftovers from a lunch he’d cooked for them today. And then we came home and convinced Patrick to nap by 4.

Which brings us to right now. Brian just walked in the door to a quiet, clean house and me blogging and said, “Now that’s a sight I don’t see very often.”  Here’s to maybe a little bit more of this? Perhaps a few prayers for this line to hold out through the summer and grant us a little bit of peace ..and maybe even health?

This Boot is Made for Walkin’

It’s been a few weeks now since Patrick got his brace, or as we call it, his “boot.” His therapist used this word the day she fitted him, and Patrick took to it. He sees me with his brace in hand and starts reaching and begging, “boo, boo, boo!”

It was hard getting used to the brace. For the first week, even an hour of wear had him grumpy, tired, and irritable. Daily stretches were the worst, as they worked the muscles that were already sore. I just kept pushing through knowing that things were supposed to get better with time.

The other awkward new adjustment was shoes. Patrick currently wears a size 5 1/2 .But, the brace measures a 7 1/2 in length, and when you allow for the bulky straps on the side, it takes an 8 to get over the brace. Obviously a size 8 shoe is too long for his foot and this difference made him seem a bit lopsided while he was getting used to it.

I really want to get over to Nordstrom, who have a “mismatched shoes” program and employees who are actually trained to help fit shoes, instead of just measure feet. Shopping for a spare shoe at Payless the day we picked up Patrick’s brace was frustrating and traumatic. I’ll forever pity the poor teenage associate tasked to wait on us.

But I digress.

Patrick has since made a wonderful adjustment to the brace. He even knows how to help me more easily get it on, if he’s not distracted with something else.

It helps. No longer does his little foot betray him at random, popping up or turning in and making him fall.  He doesn’t veer into the wall every 5th step while walking halls in therapy any more. (It takes more like 40 steps.)

He’s getting brave enough to walk more and more. He takes several steps between his daddy and me (or other adults he trusts.) He forgets sometimes that he doesn’t want me to see him stand, and lets go to play with a toy. I’ve even caught him walking along the edge of the couch without holding on – just reaching out and touching every few steps to assure he’s got his balance.

 

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There is still improvement to be made. At least once an hour his heel still pops up inside the brace – quite a feat, considering how much there is holding it down. Only then it gets stuck. I’ve learned that if he’s crying and begging for my help, it’s probably his foot.

His foot does still turn in a bit, too.. or I should say that his leg does from the hip.

We’re meeting with his rehabilitationalist today to talk about whether or not we need to take more action than just the brace.

But for now, my little munchkin is happily practicing walking. We walk everywhere. I’ve learned to allow extra time for such adventures. For example, we spent an hour picking up 3 items in the grocery store so that he could push the cart. We arrive, when possible, 15 minutes or more early to appointments so that he can hold my hand and walk inside. And we take walks around the yard and neighborhood.

These last take the most time because for the first time, Patrick can explore the things he’s been looking at for 2 years on his walks so we have to stop often to let him touch the fences and flowers and rocks along the way. I don’t mind. He’s earned it.

State Fair

After dinner tonight, we were trying to decide what to do with our evening. Then, Brian remembered that it was the opening day of the state fair.

If we’ve learned nothing from life with Patrick, it’s that you’ve got to take opportunities when you have them. So, even though it was already 7 pm on a weeknight, we decided that since we could go to the fair, we would.

Patrick loved it! First, we came across a pony ride. And, since we were seizing every opportunity, decided that Patrick should get to ride a horse. He was pretty nervous about it. It was halfway through the ride before he was willing to even put his hands down.

Then, we went on to see the other animals.  Right away, we came across a very friendly goat. He was standing up on the edge of his pen begging for attention. Once I realized how friendly he was, I let Patrick pet him, too. Patrick loved it! Not only did he pet the goat, but he actually gave him several “loves”.

Next, were the cows. Patrick’s eyes lit up when he heard them “moo.” Soon, he was saying “moo” too, delighted that he actually knew what sound they made.

The sheep were also friendly enough for Patrick to pet. Patrick was a lot braver right from the start. He’d touch the sheep’s nose and then turn with a big cheesy grin for Daddy to take a picture.

The pigs were exciting. We were in just the right place to watch them move one from its pen to be washed. Patrick was transfixed watching the farmers try to chase down and lather the pig.

By then, the sun had set so we left the animals to be greeted by a fully lit carnival. Again, Patrick could barely take his eyes off of the sight. He’s never seen anything like it and was just soaking it in.

Finally, we stopped and bought some freshly cooked doughnuts. Patrick couldn’t get enough of these. They were so soft and warm! The perfect treat on a cool evening.

Usually, Patrick would crash in the car after that much excitement, especially being up past bedtime. But tonight, he just couldn’t quit talking about it. Our ride home was filled with happy moo’s, neighs, baa’s and oinks from the back seat, mixed with giggles and excited gestures.

I think this may be one of the best family outings we’ve ever taken.

In the midst of miracles

This morning as I was laying in bed trying to convince my tired body to get out of bed to greet a happy 7 a.m. Patrick, I was contemplating on just how far my  munchkin has come. And all of a sudden I realized that I am living in the midst of miracles right now.

I am a VERY tired mother right now. By about 5 p.m. every day I just want to call it quits and go to bed because the work of taking care of a TPN-dependent, developmentally delayed toddler is exhausting! Patrick is a very active little boy right now. He’s on the brink of walking. He’s finally mastered the skills of carrying things from one room to another, of opening drawers and doors and emptying the contents found therein, and of putting things in places where I sometimes never find them again.

He’s bordering on two with the fully independent attitude that comes with that age – while simultaneously he’s finally getting the strength in his body to explore his world in ways he never has before. My good-natured patient boy has discovered tantrums. And he’s not afraid to use them to tell me when he doesn’t approve of me stopping some unintentionally self-destructive activity.

And, if the exploration weren’t dangerous enough, try attaching IV tubing to this strong-willed child! Even with a 10-foot extension, he manages to get himself wrapped in and around furniture. He knows no limits! If I leave a baby gate open for even a few minutes, you’ll find him at the top of the stairs grinning, waiting to run from me the second I come to catch him before he reaches the end of his line and gets yanked back down.

And this morning as I lay procrastinating getting out of bed I realized just what a miracle my total exhaustion is! This time last year, we’d just come home from the hospital. Patrick was thin and frail, not even able to roll over. Our current battles in physical therapy show that there should have been much more major consequences of his illness and arrest last summer. No one who hears his history ever expects to find normal looking boy smiling up at them.

But right now Patrick has been blessed with exactly what I’ve always wished for him… The strength of both body and spirit to not know boundaries. He may still be limited, but he doesn’t feel limited.

I take it for granted sometimes because they’ve been so common in our lives. But Patrick, Brian and I live in the midst of miracles each and every day. And we do so with full expectation that more miracles lie ahead.

“For behold, I am God; and I am a God of miracles; and I will show unto the world that I am the same yesterday, today and forever” 2 Nephi 27

An evening to remember

It’s been two weeks since Patrick’s Hope Concert and I haven’t blogged about it yet because, well, how do you even try to capture something like that? It was something we’ll never EVER forget!

Friends, families and even strangers came together in amazing ways.

Brian met the sound crew and musicians at 1:00 p.m. I think he had a great time tagging along during sound checks.

Meanwhile, our wonderful friends and family worked to set up the silent auction.

It was after 5 when I got Patrick’s afternoon medical care taken care of and got back to the school where the concert was being held. What I found was amazing! All the auction donations displayed on tables looked so different than they have sitting in my basement. The community was so generous! There was far more there than I’d realized had been given.

The auditorium seemed to have been transformed. When we toured the school months ago it had seemed like a shabby school auditorium. Now, with instruments on the stage and Patrick’s image filling the wall, it looked like a concert hall.

Before long, volunteers and guests started arriving. Soon the lobby was shoulder to shoulder with people we love. Our adoption caseworker was there. So were some of Patrick’s favorite nurses. Co-workers. Friends from church. Family. His doctor. I wish there had been more time so we could have visited with all of you.

We decided to watch the concert from the balcony. (It wasn’t officially open).  We wanted Patrick to have lots of room.. and to watch the concert where it wouldn’t matter if the applause scared him or if he was too sleepy. This was a good thing because his only nap was 11 a.m. and the concert started just half an hour before bedtime.

We owe a huge thank you to Paul Cardall for all he did to put together an amazing concert! He had me crying from the start. The other musicians deserve a thank you, too.. For giving their time, talent, and even equipment to make the night work. So thank you Charley, Sam, Mindy, Steven, Marshall, Kevin.. and to the other musicians who I may not have met but who came and shared their time and talents.

It was so fun to see everyone in Patrick’s “Got Guts?” t-shirts! Just one more thing that made us realize that this night really was for our family!

A big thanks is also owed to Seth Mitchell who worked miracles in getting us a concert quality sound system, donated no less, and a crew of very talented engineers who mixed sound, ran lighting, and otherwise put together the look and feel of the concert. We couldn’t have done it without you!

While I’m expressing thanks..Thank you to my mom who put so much time and effort into pulling this event off! Neither one of us knew what we were doing, but you certainly stepped up and figured it out. Thanks to the rest of our friends and family. Dad, Dick, Phyllis, Jill, Cindy, Michelle, Jay and friends Kirstie and Tifanie who came to meeting after meeting and worked to pull everything together. Thanks to the many friends and family members who came to staff the event. Thanks for keeping me sane!

Thanks to the businesses and individuals who gave to the silent auction. I was touched with each donation that would show up. I wish there was space to put all the stories here.. as almost every item has a story behind it.

And finally.. thanks to all of you who came to share the evening with us! In that big auditorium, we looked few in number.. but there were several hundred of you there. The event definitely made a difference! We more than doubled the donations received thus far. I don’t dare publish a number, because my doorbell still is ringing with people giving more.

Beyond helping with Patrick’s transplant fund, though… You helped us a lot by heart, too! Knowing that there are so many of you who would give up a Saturday evening to come and celebrate Patrick’s life with us was means so much!

This has been a tremendous journey with Patrick. Each day with him is a miracle. I feel as though he’s outlived his expiration date time and again. It was wonderful to be able to take a night and celebrate that miracle with the people who mean the most to us.