Category: Short Gut Syndrome

RSV and other adventures

This post is a follow-up on last week’s rant. It turns out that Patrick’s low-grade fevers were caused by RSV, a highly dangerous respiratory bug. He probably picked it up while he was trying to taste every piece of furniture in his hospital room the week before.

He was discharged to home before noon.. less than 24 hours after he was admitted. They sent us home with orders to visit the outpatient respiratory clinic as often as needed and boy have we been glad to have that resource! I think we caught this bug the first day… The symptoms didn’t really hit till Friday. Friday morning when he woke up he was working hard to breathe and my best efforts with steam and a bulb syringe wouldn’t budge things so I took him in. The respiratory therapist described the secretions as “glue”. He said that is was possible that Patrick was needing extra fluids, since I couldn’t give him drinks to keep him hydrated. So I stopped and asked for a prescription for some extra fluids.

The next night, he hardly slept! Finally at 3 a.m. I put the fluids on and he finally started to be able to clear his airway and went to sleep. When we took him in again his oxygen saturations weren’t in the dangerous zone, but they had dropped significantly.

That was the worst of it, though.. Patrick is actually doing much better these last couple of days. I think we finally have him rehydrated and he’s breathing much more easily now. We haven’t had to take him in for help in a couple of days now. I think that other than the long contagoius period and resulting quarantine, he’s on his way back to normal.

As for our car – well, it turned out to need $4000 in repairs. This is NOT what we wanted to hear in January, the month where we pay all of our out-of-pocket medical for the year.. We ended up approving the repairs, but have also decided that it’s time to sell that car and drive something more affordable to repair. And maybe once that car’s sold and our tax return comes back and things are a bit more stable, we can revisit the idea of having a practical car for me to drive in Seattle while leaving Brian with a practical car to drive here.

None of this excitement has done much to hinder Patrick, though. Despite being sick and grumpy and working to breathe, he is still growing up more and more every day. A week ago, I took a load of laundry downstairs. When I came upstairs I discovered Patrick halfway across the kitchen floor. He had dragged his IV pumps in their backpack by the tubing a good 4 feet trying to follow me downstairs. The next day we invented a safer way for him to get around.

Now when Patrick’s playing on the floor he wears a safety harness connected to a little cart that his backpack sits in. This way, he can get around the house without as high of a risk of ripping his central line out. He’s enjoying exploring how far he can go, and getting faster all the time! The funniest thing is how much he loves being under furniture. I’m amazed at all the places I find him. (And have to subsequently save him from.. because he gets his tubes and harness tied all around the furniture legs).

He also spent most of his last hospitalization improving his standing skills and he now dares stand himself up to some furniture and can walk around a big holding on… especially in his crib.

When it rains, it pours

Someday I’ll figure out why Patrick’s hospitalizations tend to concide with 1)holidays and vacations or 2)periods of stress for me.

If you don’t know, Patrick was hospitalized last week because of another bacterial infection in his bloodstream. The good news is that it quickly responded to antibiotics, quickly grew so it could be identified and more accurately treated, and therefore he quickly was back to himself. This infection was a reminder of how Patrick gradually is becoming more fragile the longer he waits for transplant, though. His spleen wasn’t very happy with this particular infection – just one side effect of residual liver damage.. and it started to cause his blood counts to fall. So even though the infection was caught and treated very early, we still had to keep a very close eye on him for a couple of days.

We took him home on Wednesday and he’s been doing pretty well since. That gave me a few days to really work hard on catching up on some impending deadlines and to deal with some unexpected problems.

Brian was complaining about the car not accelerating the way it normally does the day we brought Patrick home. He made an appointment to take it to the mechanic this week. That appointment is for tomorrow morning. Sunday morning, instead of making it’s usual complaining noises, though, it started to spew clouds of white smoke so think that I can’t see the car behind me.

Brian had business meetings in L.A. today, though, and I didn’t dare be without a car that Patrick’s carseat fit into. So we agreed to take his truck for a tune-up yesterday so that it would be in good condition should the car be gone for a while.

Well, an hour before I left to pick up the truck today, Patrick woke up from a nap fussy and feeling warm. The thermometer read 100.2, which is not technically a fever.. but added to the fact that today was the last day of his antibiotics and the fact that he’s been fussy since 4 a.m. I made a call to his GI to see if they wanted to test to make sure the infection wasnt recurring.

In the end, his doctor recommended that he come back to the hospital for observation. So – here we are. They’ve drawn blood cultures and done a test for respiratory bugs as well. And we’re hanging out here waiting to see what they find. Meanwhile, my car is sitting outside the mechanic so they can start work on it first thing in the morning. I’ll be surprised if the repairs for this come in under $1000. And my deadlines will just have to wait for a little while.

One thing about it, though.. if we were at home, I’d be up all night monitoring Patrick’s temperature and the other vital signs I know how to check. Here, the nurses will do that and Patrick and I can hopefully get some rest.  And hopefully by morning Patrick will be well and ready to go home, my car will be diagnosed and on it’s road to recovery, and I can get back to simpler things like following Patrick around moving his backpack so he can work on his crawling skills and teaching him to eat vegetables.

Bath Time

There are some little things that I took for granted before Patrick. One of them is baths.

With a Broviac line, there is a 2 x 3 sterile dressing on Patrick’s chest that must be kept dry in order to keep it clean. Until Patrick started to have PICC lines I just plain didn’t put him in water. When he needed a bath, I’d give him a sponge bath. When Patrick got his PICC it was easy to keep his dressing dry because I could wrap his arm in waterproof things and make him hold it out of the water. But now that he has his Broviac line, giving baths is taking some more heroic measures.

There are two products that make this possible. One is a medical invention called “Aquaguard”. It’s a piece of plastic with waterproof but easy to remove adhesive around the edges. You cover the dressing with this and it keeps it dry. The second I buy at the grocery store: Glad Press & Seal wrap. This wrap can go around the connections in Patrick’s line and also can be stuck over his dressing directly to his chest. It crinkles a bit when he moves, but it keeps him dry.

Waterproofing Patrick’s chest sometimes is a bit of a battle. He’s not a fan of having crinkly plastic stuck to him and often takes it off right after I put it on. But once he’s in the water, it’s well worth the work. He loves to splash and play.

I’m not brave enough yet to use the big bathtub for Patrick’s baths. It seems like a rather big thing to keep sterile and keeping the tubes above the waterline is hard enough in a baby bath. Besides, Patrick loves the baby bathtub I put him in. He uses his feet to push back and make waves that splash over the sides of the tub. (Therefore, I put the baby bath inside the big bathtub to contain the mess).

The only part of the bath Patrick isn’t a fan of is washing his hair. This isn’t any kid’s favorite part, but for Patrick it’s especially tricky. He has a lot of hair so it MUST be washed, but I have to do it while keeping water off of his chest. Even with the waterproofing, too much water can still soak through to the dressing. So we have to take extra time and do this with as little water as possible.

As the picture below demonstrates, sometimes a bath is needed when I just can’t pull off all of the logistics.

Patrick gets diaper rash very quickly because his stool is so acidic. The other night, he was crying miserably because his bottom hurt so badly! It hurt too much for me to clean it with wipes, and leaving it uncleaned was only going to burn more. So, I grabbed the nearest hospital bucket I could find, put two inches of water in it, and set Patrick inside.

 

I consider this one of my most ingenious feats of mothering yet. It got the right part of Patrick bathed and happy while keeping his line well away from the water.. And he thought it was hilarious to get to sit in the little bucket on the changing table.

Sometimes raising a child with short gut syndrome requires some real creativity.

Our Seattle Adventure

As many of you know, Patrick had an appointment for a check-up at Seattle Children’s this week. He was scheduled in clinic for about two hours Tuesday afternoon. We decided to try to make a family vacation out of this trip (since we haven’t had a vacation since adopting Patrick.) I think we need to stop saying the word vacation in our household. It seems that Patrick thinks that vacations are taken in the hospital – this trip did not go as planned.

We flew to Seattle on Sunday. We rented a mini van and drove to visit our good friends, the Laylands who live half an hour north of the city. We had a good dinner and visit with them and then spent the night at their house.

As soon as the plane touched down in Seattle, my nose started to run. At first I was sure it was allergies, but by the next morning there was no question that it was a cold. But, we were determined to have a vacation, so after a quick stop at K-Mart for some cold medicine and other things, we set off for the city.

After picking up some much touted Mighty-O donuts and checking into our hotel, we headed to the Seattle Aquarium. We were in the first exhibit, a sort of aquatic petting zoo, letting Patrick play in the water and touch sea creatures when I looked down and noticed blood on his PICC line. Closer examination revealed that there was something wrong … there was definitely a leak.

So I made a quick call to our transplant coordinator and we headed back to the ER, leaving a very patient Lindy and her daughter stranded in downtown Seattle to avoid exposing them to hospital ER germs.

We were checked in quickly in the ER and sent to an isolation room at the back because of Patrick’s and my cold symptoms. Soon the IV team came to look and confirmed that Patrick did, indeed, have a cracked PICC line. And it could not be repaired.

As a result, Patrick needed to have a peripheral IV put in until he could get another central (goes to the heart) line. And he needed to be admitted to the hospital because you can’t get as good of nutrition through just a hand or foot.

Wednesday afternoon, there was finally room in the schedule to take Patrick to “Interventional Radiology” where they could place a new PICC line with X-ray imaging to guide them. They took Patrick down at about 3 p.m. At 5:30, a doctor came to the room to talk to us.

He explained that they had tried to pass the wire through Patrick’s vein to put in the PICC line and had run into resistence. So, they injected contrast into his veins and saw that there had been a clot. In response to the clot, Patrick’s body created a branch of smaller vessels to route the blood where it needed to go. This meets the body’s need, but doesn’t leave enough room to put a catheter into the vein to the heart. Because of this, Patrick can no longer have PICC lines in his arms.

They put a little bit more stable of a line in his arm then that wouldn’t go bad as quickly as an IV in his hand or foot and then gave us two options: stay here and have a broviac line put in, or fly to Salt Lake, be admitted there, and have a broviac put in.

We decided that it was best to just stay and have it done here in Seattle. The surgeons here had gone into the PICC placement procedure and had seen the problem first hand. Having Seattle Children’s put in the line also meant that he’d have it done sooner, since he could be put on the next day’s list.

Beyond that, in order to place the line, they needed to do an ultrasound study to see what Patrick’s remaining central blood vessels looked like. Since not having many available blood vessels moves you up the transplant list, we thought it was wise to have the transplant hospital have a record of what options remained.

So – yesterday Patrick had a new broviac line put in. He went to surgery about 3 p.m. and they were able to put the new line right where they wanted it. When I talked to the surgeon at 5 he sounded pretty good about how the procedure had gone.

There had, however, been one slight problem. Patrick’s stomach still doesn’t easily drain all the way. Even though he hadn’t eaten anything, and his stomach had been suctioned, it still wasn’t empty. As a result, he aspirated during the procedure. The surgeon said that they’d been able to clean out his lungs, though, and didn’t seem overly concerned. With any aspiration, there is a risk of pneumonia. He asked to keep Patrick 24 hours for observation, and then said he’d be able to go home.

I went to Patrick’s room to wait for him. When he finally made it upstairs, he was very upset. He’d curled himself into a little ball and was crying miserably. The nurse immediately set to work getting pain medications for him. And we decided to put him on monitors.

Things just seemed to get worse. The monitors showed that the oxygen levels in his blood were dropping, so we put an oxygen mask near his mouth to help keep them up. His heart rate was rising. He was breathing very heavily.

The nurse called in other nurses to help her and started taking vitals… And discovered Patrick was running a fever. They called down his doctors. While I explained the scarier things in Patrick’s medical history, his nurse wandered around the room making space to work if things got worse.

They ordered blood cultures to look for infection, gave Patrick some Tylenol, and got an X-ray of his chest.

Finally, they called the “Rapid Response Team”, which is a team from the PICU who come to the bedside. They watched him, took some tests bedside, and promised to come back to check on him within the hour.

Once all of the tests were done, I picked Patrick up again and he finally started to calm down. They started antibiotics while I rocked him to sleep. His heart rate was still high, and the antibiotics were making his blood pressure low, but he seemed to be starting to feel better.

As things started to settle down, I asked the nurse to help me reach elders from my church. One of the doctors in the room had mentioned earlier in the week that he had gone to school at BYU and we’d talked about how we’d been there the same year both studying Spanish. He spoke up and said “I can take care of that for you.” It was subtle, but we both understood that he was telling me that he was an elder and could help me with what he knew I was going to ask for.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints we believe in the gift of healing by the laying on of hands by those who have authority from God. Brian is an elder in our church and had given Patrick one of these special blessings before he left. And this kind doctor subtly waited around until the nurses had left the room and then layed his hands on Patrick’s head and gave him another blessing, confirming the promises of health and comfort and strength.

Patrick slowly began turning around. His fever dropped and he started to sleep comfortably. A respiratory therapist came and tried to get Patrick to cough by pounding on his chest and back. Finally, she suctioned deep down into his chest and helped to get a lot of what was in his lungs out.

By midnight, Patrick was sound asleep. I stayed up to help the nurse get a few more things settled and went to bed. We slept till 7 a.m., when the doctors came in to check on him.

This morning, Patrick woke up with a smile. He was a bit weak and groggy at first, but has just gotten better and better all day long. Just an hour ago, he was climbing all over me on the couch in the room playing with toys and jumping. You would never know anything had been wrong.

The doctors are pleased enough with his improvement that they gave me the go ahead to book a flight back home for tomorrow. We’ll leave the hospital a little after noon to catch a 3:45 p.m. flight.  We should be home by 6 p.m.

I almost hate to write this because any time I’ve said that we were doing something this week, things have changed. But this time it feels like we really are going home. And I’ll be happy to be there.

I do have to share one example of the goodness of people in this world. While Patrick was in surgery, I put some of our clothes in the laundry room here. I got it as far as the dryer, but then when Patrick came back in such bad shape from surgery, didn’t make it back to it. I expected, when I headed back at midnight, to find my clothes piled in a basket somewhere. Instead, someone had taken the time to neatly fold them for me. This touched me because any parent using the laundry room here is doing it because their child is sick enough that they’re expecting to stay here for some time. The person who folded my clothes was certainly going through their own difficult time and would have been totally justified in being upset and offended at someone leaving clothes in a dryer. Instead, they took the time to make my day a little better.

This is just one example of the kindnesses that make raising a child with health problem so very rewarding.

We love making the doctors happy

Patrick had a couple of doctor’s appointments this week and this month the doctors were all smiles! After such a hard summer, everyone is happy to see him doing so well.

Patrick has actually been gaining weight.. He’s at 85% of the recommended weight for his height right now, and for the first time rising ahead of the curve. Today, with his clothes on, Patrick weighed 18 pounds.

In even better news, his liver tests looked good! His bilirubin (the measure of bile in his bloodstream) was in the normal range and his liver enzymes, although they show that his liver is still inflammed and unhappy, have been trending downward. His liver even “felt” normal on exam.

All of his other tests were normal! This is SPECTACULAR, as it is so hard to keep him stable for any length of time.

Today, I took him to be evaluated by the rehabiliational medicine department at Primary Children’s. The goal was to see if any physical or occupational therapy can help him to make up some of the developmental delays that came from this long illness this summer and from his delicate health in general. (We’ll be starting physical and speech therapy soon, in addition to his developmental theraphy).

At the end of the appointment, one of the hospital’s residents came in to visit. She took care of Patrick while she was on the GI service 3 months ago.. when he was still so sick and fragile. Now she was doing a rotation in PT. And she was THRILLED to see him! She held him and played with him and just couldn’t stop talking about how much he’d improved since she’d last seen him. She just kept saying, “he looks like a healthy baby!”

In the end, Patrick left with gifts of a new ball and blanket and a big hug and kiss on the head.

We are so proud of our little man and how well he’s doing, especially after all he’s had to fight through. (Just hearing his history today, the doctor said she came in expecting to find a vegetable, and instead found a happy, playful little boy).  We’re praying to be able to keep posting glowing reports like this one.

Short Gut Support Group

I know that several of your following this blog have experience with short gut and intestinal transplant yourself. I wanted to let you know that, with some encouragement from Patrick’s doctors, we just created a support group for families of kids with Short Gut. Many of you have offered to share your experiences with me… I’d be greedy if I kept that all to myself.

The website is www.shortgutsupport.com. We have a message board and a growing collection of information about Short Gut Syndrome.

COTA allows one link to a page with information about your child’s diagnosis. When I started looking, I couldn’t find a single site that really covered Patrick’s condition. So – I created it instead. So, for those who are just interested in learning more about Short Gut and intestinal transplant, have a look, too. Maybe it can help fill in some of the blanks.

Adoption Reflections: Getting to know you

I left off my story the night before Brian & I flew to Michigan.

Saturday morning, Brian and I got up before the sun. We went shopping for a few more baby things and for some presents for Patrick’s birth family. Then we went to the airport.

It was so strange waiting in line with a carseat, but no baby. In fact, the sight of us juggling so much luggage and an empty carseat drew some attention. A very kind man ended up helping me in line while Brian was off getting some money at the ATM. We were talking about our reasons for flying. He was taking equipment to Africa where he was going to teach people in 3rd world areas to build and maintain wells. When I explained why we were flying, he was in awe. It was very strange to meet this great humanitarian and have him be impressed with what I was doing.

We were flying standby, so Brian ended up about 10 rows behind me. I remember hearing him telling other passengers why we were flying and thinking “This is all so surreal.”

The amazing thing was, for all I was nervous, it was also all so peaceful. I’ll always remember how beautiful the fall leaves were on the trees as we landed.. and how right everything felt.

It was evening before we got to our hotel room, and then to the hospital.

We arrived and explained why we were there and were shown to a family waiting room. Where we waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, we met Patrick’s birth family… his mother, grandmother and aunt. Our timing couldn’t have been worse. We ended up arriving in the middle of a family crisis. But they amazed us with the grace and kindness they showed us.

We talked to the head of the NICU and to Patrick’s family for a while…learned more about his medical needs, and then finally got to meet Patrick.

I remember thinking that he was SO tiny! Just this fragile little ball of baby, with a head full of black hair. I got to hold him that night and was just amazed by him. We also got to know his birthmother and her family a little bit.

Soothed by my paci

We went back to our hotel a bit overwhelmed and not sure what to do. We were overwhelmed by how much of his medical status we hadn’t known… and by the whole situation in general.

But, we’d made a committment to give Patrick a day, and so the next day we went back to the hospital. We explained to the nurse that we’d like to learn all we could about caring for Patrick, and she was wonderful about giving us that chance. She taught us to change his diapers (around tubes). And she let us hold him.

Brian and I each got some time alone with him that day. I remember holding and rocking him and singing to him the words of a children’s song:

“I am a child of God,
and He has sent me here,
has given me an earthly home
with parents kind and dear.”

And my heart broke at the idea that Patrick didn’t yet know where his earthly home and parents were. And I didn’t know if I was able to provide that for him or not.

As the evening wore on, the head of the adoption agency finally came. She’d gotten word that no one from the agency had really acknowledged our arrival. She explained to us Michigan’s adoption laws, and what she knew of Patrick, his medical needs, and his birth family.

While she was there, two elders from our church arrived… courtesy Patrick’s grandma. (I’ll forever be indebted to her for sending them). They came to bring us the sacrament, and while they were there gave us priesthood blessings of comfort.

We visited with the adoption supervisor for hours, and then went back and spent a bit more time with Patrick. Then we went back to our hotel.

That night, as we were sorting through the dozens of pictures we’d taken that day, one jumped out at me. I looked at it and just KNEW that I loved this baby! And that I wanted him to be my son.

First days

Monday morning, we went back to the hospital. Finally people were there! We met more doctors, the hospital social worker, and the care manager who’d help us to get Patrick home. Calls were made to Primary Children’s to see if the doctors in Utah could take care of Patrick. His surgeons came and talked to us about Short Gut and transplantation. Finally we felt like we were getting a grasp on this situation, and amazingly, we felt like it might be something we could do.

Then we had the big decision to make. The night before, the woman from the adoption agency had explained that the papers we’d signed in Utah would expire if they weren’t filed on Monday. Besides, Brian had to fly back to Utah that afternoon for a conference at work. We had to make a decision before he left for the airport about whether or not we were adopting Patrick.

We held a “family conference” that morning… Just Brian, Patrick and I. We talked about the decision we were facing… and the fact that we felt ready to move forward. Then Brian turned to Patrick and asked him if he’d like to join our family.

He had been sleeping, but he opened his eyes and kind of looked at Brian, as if sizing him up. Then settled back down to sleep in his arms, as if totally content. We took that as a yes.

We asked our nurse to take our first family picture.

At 1, Patrick’s social worker from the adoption agency and the hospital social worker met with us. We didn’t have much time, so we signed papers in a hurry. Then we left to take Brian to the airport.

And that was it… Brian kissed me goodbye at the curb and said “Take care of our son.” We had a son! One with far more troubles ahead that we could imagine… but one who also just filled every room he was in with the feeling of peace and joy.

We’ve never looked back. Patrick is our little boy and we love him with all our hearts!

Through Grandma’s eyes

I have so far resisted the impulse to write and to let Emily handle all the blogging. But after reading her most recent post about the beginning of this journey, I feel like adding some of my own thoughts.

It is difficult for a mother of seven to see her daughters struggle with infertility. I always have a prayer in my heart for them to be able to experience the joy that I feel as a mother and grandmother.

When Emily and Brian came to us with the story of the little baby born in Michigan that might not have a long life, I had such mixed feelings. I wanted them to have this little guy in their lives, but didn’t want them to have to suffer any more sorrow. There were so many unknowns. I can’t tell you why I fell so instantly in love with that little 2 x 2 inch digital image, but I did, and hoped that things would work out.

I don’t want to jump ahead too much from Emily’s story…but the best part of November last year for me was that I got to go to Michigan and meet Patrick myself. Brian had to come back to Utah and complete a project at work. Thankfully, we have access to Delta Buddy passes and I was able to fly out and stay with Emily for the week he was gone.

She picked me up at the airport and I don’t remember if we went to the hotel first, but we were at the hospital in no time. We had to check in at a secure desk and then off to wash. This was an event in and of itself. Roll up your sleeves, take off your jewelry, look at the clock and then begin to scrub and not just for a few seconds, it took several minutes.

Then through a maze of sorts (took me a couple of days to figure it all out) and we were in Patrick’s room. The lights were dim and there he was…big brown eyes and lots and lots of dark hair. He was so tiny. Just over 5 lbs. His tiny head fit easily into just the palm of my hand. Holding him was no effort at all, except that he had leads and tubes that connected him to life-saving and monitoring equipment.

The next few days were spent mostly at the hospital. We spent very little time in the hotel, just enough to heat up some food (can’t cook everything in the microwave believe it or not) and send home the many, many pictures that we were taking to keep Brian up-to-date. We had time to attend a Sacrament Meeting and catch some people at the Detroit Temple and ask them to place him name on the roll there. But we made sure that we were there for rounds morning and night as much as possible. Every day there were new things to learn about Patrick’s condition.

Emily was swamped with the details of the adoption, the insurance, medical decisions, travel plans and keeping family back home in the loop. Because she had phone calls to make, I got to hold Patrick for many, many hours. He isn’t able to have much by mouth and the instinct to comfort a crying baby with a bottle or breast just wasn’t an option. We quickly learned the value of a “paci”.

The nurses there are amazing. They are caring and skilled. They seemed to have an instinct for being available but not in the way. I felt comfortable enough to sing him and tell him stories and I know Emily did, too. And I know that when we weren’t there, they were holding him and loving him just like we did.

I will forever treasure that special week getting to know this grandson. I am grateful for the self-less decision that Brian and Emily made to bring him into our family. They are amazing, completely prepared by the Lord for their role as Patrick’s parents.

Adoption Reflections: The call

First pictures sent to my parents

November is national adoption awareness month. It’s also the month that we adopted Patrick. The miracles of last year are fresh in my mind right now, and so I’ve decided to write a small series of blog entries about Patrick’s adoption. Please excuse me as I reflect.

It was a miserably snowy Wednesday afternoon. I was sitting at my kitchen table finishing a shopping list and trying to gear myself to go out in the storm when the phone rang.

It was Emily, our caseworker. She started the call like this: “There was a little Korean boy born in Michigan on Halloween.” I’m pretty sure my heart skipped a beat. I’d had this crazy idea in my head all week that I should have heard something about an adoption opportunity by that very week, and now here she was calling. I didn’t quite believe it.

When we’d applied to adopt, we’d explained to Emily that we were open to adopting a child with special needs. So her next statement didn’t surprise me. “He has some health problems,” she said.  She went on to explain the information she’d been given… that he’d had gastroschisis, a birth defect where the intestines develop outside the body, that he’d need to see specialists at an out-of-state hospital, and that he may only live a couple of years.

I didn’t know what exactly to say. I asked a couple of questions, then I told Emily I needed to talk to Brian to decide if we wanted to be considered as parents. She promised she’d e-mail me the details she had. This is the message I got:

We have a baby boy born 10/31/08. He has Gastrocesis and is only expected to live 1-2 years. He is part Korean and part Caucasian.

 

The  LDS birth mother wants to place with an family that will have the baby sealed to them.

Mary the NICU social worker said last night that the baby might be ready to discharge soon.  The adoptive parents would need to be trained in paliative care.  Why the life expectancy?  She said that d/t the TPN the liver would die out soon.  She said that the doctors are communicating with hospitals in Miami, Florida; Cleveland, Ohio; and Pitt, PA to be reevaluated for a surgury.

 

There was a picture attached, too.
My eyes won mom over

I tried calling Brian, but didn’t get through. I left him a message telling him to call me right away. I’m pretty sure I was crying.

While I waited, I called our insurance company to find out if they’d even cover a 5-day-old child with this severe of a medical problem. Meanwhile, Brian called back. He heard the end of my conversation before I told him the news. He said he’d come home right away.

The rest of the day was very emotional and prayerful. We’d said we were open to whatever the Lord thought was best for our family. Now that was being put to the test. What neither one of us had expected when we said we were open to adoption a medically fragile child was the grief we would feel. From the time the call first came, we both were grieving as though we’d just found out about a serious medical problem in a child who was already ours.

We went to the temple, where we could seek an answer through prayer and mediation as to whether or not this child was meant for our family. During the ceremony, I just kept thinking about how drastically this choice would change my life. It meant changing EVERYTHING in my life. But I also kept thinking about the promise of the resurrection, and of eternal families.

I was scared, but when Brian said, “I feel good about this. Let’s find out more,” my heart said “OK.”

So, sent a list of questions off to Michigan through our adoption agency. And then we went to tell our parents.

We had this adorable picture that I couldn’t take my eyes off of. There was something angelic about that little face. So we swore we wouldn’t show it to anyone… But we failed and showed it to parents. The picture was labeled “Patrick,” and we knew that was supposed to be his name.

That night my family started praying for Patrick.

We e-mailed off a list of questions about Patrick, and after we got a few answers, we sent a copy of our profile to be considered. Brian sent this e-mail to our families:

We have a little more information on the baby.  We are not the only parents considering adopting him.  However we did give our case worker the go ahead to forward our profile to the case worker in Michigan (i.e. throw our hat in the ring).

We don’t know when we will hear back, we doubt it will be today.  So the waiting game goes on.

It sounds as if he will need a lot of care (we pretty much knew that already).  They have also said that he will need a bowel transplant at his first birthday (we don’t know more about that).

Emily and I are doing ok.  We are both attempting to work today, I think I have accomplished 2 things since I got here.  I have started about 50 other things.

We are rather afraid of what we are approaching, but can’t even think about not doing this.  We appreciate your support in this decision, please continue to remember us in your thoughts and prayers.

Friday morning, we thought we had our answer. Brian wrote this in another e-mail:

This morning we both woke up with the feeling that he isn’t going to come to our house.  Whether that is just us preparing for the worst, or just a glimpse of what is to come, we don’t really know.

We had flu shots that day at Brian’s work. I had just met him at his office, when my cell phone rang. It was our caseworker. She told us that the birth parents had just seen our profile and wanted us to adopt Patrick.

We were stunned! We locked ourselves in Brian’s bosses’ office (thank goodness he was at lunch) and we started making calls. Because we’d been chosen as parents, we were now allowed to talk to the hospital social worker and the birth parent’s social worker at their adoption agency.

We sent one more e-mail to our families with what we’d learned.

Patrick was a full term baby.  He is completely normal except his bowels don’t work (they aren’t sure if they aren’t there, or if they just don’t work). Because he can’t eat he is somewhat fussy (who wouldn’t be).  We need to explore if he is a candidate for a bowel transplant, but that can’t be performed until he is 1.  He will be on a feeding tube until he can eat on his own.

The hospital won’t discharge him until we have things in place to take care of him here.  He will need to be on a TPN machine (what that means, we aren’t sure).  But that is equipment that we will need at our house.

Chicken and I have decided that we are going to go out to Michigan and see exactly what it is going to take to care for this Patrick.  We have not committed to take the child, but this is the last step before we do it.

I will give you more details once I can think straight, course that probably won’t happen for a while.  So I will give details once we get a bit more settled in Michigan.  And I’m sure that I will be in contact with you soon.

The rest of the day was a flurry of excitement as we ran around trying to pull together the necessary details to be able to fly to Michigan in the morning. We went to the adoption agency to finish the paperwork required for us to be able to see Patrick in the NICU. Meanwhile, my mom and grandpa worked to get us airline tickets. We packed for an indefinite stay in Michigan. One small bag held all the baby things we owned, including a baby quilt I’d just finished Tuesday night. We made a shopping list for the nursery that Brian would come home and put together if we followed through on the adoption.

And then we tried to sleep. It was probably one of the longest nights of my life! We didn’t know what the future held, but we knew already our lives had changed forever.

It’s a year later and some things are the same. This Wednesday was sunny, but I still sat down and made my list of errands to run. And today, Friday, we’re headed for our flu shots. Our families are still 100% behind us. And we’re still depending every day on prayer. But, as expected, pretty much everything else is different. What I didn’t expect was that, with as challenging as it all is, it is much more wonderful and rewarding than I’d ever expected.