Category: Ostomy

Transplant Day 21 and baby steps

Today was a relatively quiet day. In fact, by the end of it, I think we all were feeling more than a little stir crazy from being in the same room together doing the same things day in and day out. But quiet is good.

Patrick definitely had a better day. Between the slight reduction in feeds and me finding a way to be super sneaky and unsmelly in emptying his ostomy bag, he didn’t spend the day feeling sick. That left him free to try other things.

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Like walking, for example. The physical therapist came by and encouraged us to let go of his hand and try walking. He was a touch unsteady and there certainly moments where he moved the wrong way and it hurt. But he did it. And it gave me the idea for a game that kept him motivated to walk several more times. Because Patrick loves Blues Clues, I drew some pawprints on slips of paper and I hid them in strategic places that he would have to bed or reach a little to get. Then we’d go play Blues Clues and find the pawprints. He actually was really upset when I wouldn’t play anymore tonight.

And speaking of pawprints, we decided to go check out pet therapy today. They have several specially trained dogs that visit the hospital. Very sweet and obedient. Patrick was more fearful of them than I expected.. perhaps because he’s still sore and was afraid they might jump on him. But it gave us someplace to go to today, at least.

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The other big news is that Patrick’s biopsy results came back. Amazingly, today’s rejection score was a 0. No rejection at this point.

That leaves us with a few goals to work on. 1) Get Patrick’s feeds back up that 5 cc’s more to 95 without making him sick. 2) Switch him over from IV replacement fluid to replacing lost fluids through his g-tube. As long as he has an ostomy (which will be over a year), he’ll need a little bit of extra hydration. 3) Get a plan of how to pay for Patrick’s Valcyte. It turns out that they missed checking a box on the patient assistance application and are now having to reprocess it.

I’m spending tonight at the Ronald McDonald House. It is strange to be here. It is strange to know they are there. I also have gotten quite used to going to bed with Patrick so staying up late to finish the laundry has me quite tired. And that is making me appreciate my husband because he has been doing this for us every few nights for the past several weeks.

I also appreciate the flexibility of the people he works for and with. I have been trying to find a way to give him more time to catch up on work. And in the end, he just keeps setting aside what he’s doing to come in and save me.. to make sure Patrick is up and walking, to make sure I get a chance to eat and shower and change my clothes, to snuggle with Patrick so he can nap.

Before long, we are going to have to let him go.. and I can tell you I am going to miss having him here. Patrick will too. Which is part of why, despite Patrick’s protests about my leaving, I am here and they are there tonight. At least, in my mind it is.

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Transplant Day 14 and Daddy’s back

I think our biggest news of the day is that Brian got back from his short trip. Patrick and I were so glad to see him that I’m afraid we didn’t let him do anything else.. Just play with or cuddle Patrick. Patrick was so happy to see him.

Otherwise, just continued forward progress on the same milestones. Increased feeds. Walked a little farther with a little less support. Sat up a lot more with a lot less pain. Decreased pain medicines.

I shopped for home health companies today. I guess it’s kind of uncommon for the patient to call up and say “I want to make sure you can get me the following supplies.” Usually, setting up home healthcare is something the hospital just takes care of for you. But I wanted to be sure that we would have access to all the things that make Patrick’s life better. I think we found a good fit. Just one more tiny step towards our next goal.

Tonight was movie night in the hospital. The literally put out a red carpet. Then, they set up a conference room to look like a movie theater, complete with boxed candies, popcorn, pretzels and pop. Patrick has only been to a movie in a theater once. I wasn’t sure how this would go.. But thankfully the movie was Planes Fire & Rescue, which had that “I love cars” appeal. He did a lot better than I expected. Guess he’s 1)growing up and 2) not feeling great so screen time has a greater appeal.

I was talking with another family yesterday. We decided that adults could learn a lot from the way that kids do illness. I mean, imagine if you had to go to the hospital. Would you prefer to just sit in your drab hospital room reading? Or would you prefer to have a room all decorated in bright fun things, to have someone bring you your favorite hobbies every day, and to have a low-key party once a day? Wouldn’t you find getting better easier that way? Kids know what they’re doing. We grown-ups are the ones getting it wrong.

Another milestone: Patrick willingly went to sleep in his bed while I laid in the parent bed across the room. He is feeling more at home here.

2 weeks ago tonight our transplant team was looking at a transplant offer deciding if it was time to call and wake us up and tell us to come. Patrick is doing so well for just 2 weeks in.

 

 

Transplant day 5

First of all, let me say that this was a much better day. Last night, right after I finished posting, the team came in and said that they felt it was time to mix up the pain medicine routine. Immediately, he became more himself. Also, right afterwards, respiratory therapy stopped by to start doing a treatment they call CPT. Unlike the mask that terrified Patrick, CPT is just like a great big massage. It put Patrick right to sleep.

It also told us that it was time for mommy to sleep in Patrick’s room. So, with Patrick asleep from his breathing treatment, I snuggled right up next to him and crashed. With pain under control, his oxygen saturation popped up to almost normal (though with oxygen running). Patrick and I slept snuggled all night. Since he is too sore to roll over and attach, he slept holding onto my ear. (That is sweeter than it sounds.)  And by morning, he’d found his voice again. We gave him a bath and put on a new hospital gown.

Physical therapy came by early in the morning and we decided that with him feeling better, it was time to try walking again. They fitted him with a child sized walker and away we went. Patrick was scared at first and just kept crying for mommy to save him. I just got down on my knees and cheered him on and pointed to the next landmark until we got him to where Daddy was waiting to hold him in the chair.

The rest of the morning was quiet. They tried a nebulizer. He hated it. They discontinued those orders (hooray.) I did laundry and made a few more phone calls to Patrick’s doctors and therapists to cancel his appointments and let them know where he’d gone.

And before i knew it, it was almost noon. Time for Brian to leave to catch his flight home. So we walked Patrick back to bed with still some tears, but a stronger body and more courage. Then kissed daddy goodbye and settled in for a nap.

Patrick was in a great mood after nap. I’d decided we needed to do something sitting up in bed to help his lungs clear this afternoon.. So I reached into the big box of trick-or-treat prizes and found a set of paints. Patrick was SO excited! We gathered up a too-large hospital gown and pulled up his table and away he went to work.

The nurse gave him a cup of water to rinse his brush in and he immediately tried to drink it. Patrick is desperate for a drink of water.  He was furious when I told him no. (Thanks to steroids and not feeling well, little tantrums are big explosions right now.).. But eventually accepted the little pink mouth moistener that his medical team had approved and his mouth looks and feels so much better.

Patrick’s transplant doctors stopped by to check on him this afternoon. Their jaws about hit the floor as they saw him today compared to yesterday, up in bed and playing. And that’s what he did for most of the rest of the day. We painted. We blew bubbles. We played with a harmonica. Child life sent a medical student to come make putty out of borax and glue. After changing his ostomy bag and taking a short nap, we got Patrick up one more time and walked him to the chair. This time he was pretty quick and made it with no tears. We sat in the chair and called grandma, then watched the new episode of Daniel Tiger, then walked him back to bed where he’s been playing with the cars he got for his birthday happily ever since.

We still had our hard moments. Beginning to understand having his ostomy has Patrick worried. It broke my heart when he apologized to the nurse that she’d had to clean him up when the bag leaked. And the tears over wanting a drink of water are heartbreaking. But these are big, big things that would upset anyone, big or small. And they won’t last forever.

Again, the kindness of family, friends and strangers has astounded us. Gifts and cards arrived at just the right times today.  It seemed that in all of the hard moments, something else would show up. Thank you, thank you for your generosity.

Update: Two weeks (and a day) after surgery

Well, it’s been another week. Most people are surprised to learn that we are still at the hospital. Well, we did think that the recovery would be no more than two weeks.

But here we are.

It turns out that Patrick’s large intestine is needing much more time to adapt than was anticipated. The problem is that, never having been used, first it had to wake up, and then it has to stretch back to a normal size.

They did a contrast enema today. That means they squirted contrast in Patrick’s bottom and then watched on X-ray as it moved up through his large intestine, and then his small intestine.

The good news is that it moved through without problems. There are no obstructions or strictures. The bad news is that, well, it still resembles a long noodle more than a colon. And it’s fitted to a small intestine that is quite stretched out.

So the stretched out, and therefore weaker, small intestine is trying to push things through a super tight large intestine (imagine a balloon that hasn’t yet been inflated). And it’s just not working very well.

I’ll talk to Patrick’s surgeon tomorrow about the study and see if there is anything more that can be done. So far, though, the answer I’m given most often is that we just need to wait. Hopefully time and use will balance things out.

In the meantime, we just keep waiting here. I don’t know quite what to do with myself. Without feeding, ostomy, IV’s (I’m not allowed to touch them), or even diapers really, there isn’t much in the way of my normal nursing duties to do. So I’m trying to spend my time just being a mom… playing with Patrick and helping with the basic things like sleep, comfort, and cuddles.

The good news is that Patrick actually feels quite well, as long as we don’t let too much build up in his stomach. And this lends itself to fun new adventures like baths in a bathtub and learning to sit.

It’s not the easiest thing being cooped up in this tiny crowded room together with nurses going in and out all the time. We get a bit bored of each other sometimes. But we’re doing the best we can and just praying that Patrick’s body is up for the challenge it’s been given.

Well it’s now been a week since Patrick’s surgery. Patrick is doing really well so far, considering. His incision is healing nicely. It doesn’t seem to hurt him anymore. He’ll sit and play and jump pretty much the same as if he were at home.

This is pretty amazing to me, considering that he still has staples and the area around the incisions and especially where the stoma was look bruised and ugly still. The staples will come out sometime in the next week.

He’s finished his round of post-op antibiotics, too. We were afraid he’d run a risk of infection at the surgical site because a stoma isn’t exactly a clean thing, but Patrick seems to be healing up nicely, regardless.

A few days ago, we started to see little traces of stool in Patrick’s diaper. It’s hardly anything at all, but quite miraculous for him, since his colon is so narrow right now. Pretty much all we’re waiting for here is for Patrick’s colon to have time to stretch out and start working. Until then, his stomach has to be suctioned, which is why he’s got a tube in his nose. At the rate things are going, there’s probably still another week ahead of us, though.

With as little as is there, though, Patrick’s poor little bottom is already red – despite the heavy duty diaper cream I’m using on it. This will be normal for him, though. So we’re just trying to get a good start.

So things are pretty calm here. Of course, nothing is ever 100% simple. In addition to post-op concerns, we’re watching a rash that appeared under Patrick’s central line dressing a couple of days ago to make sure it doesn’t lead to complications and infection. And… as Patrick likes to do to stump us, his heart rate has been low when he sleeps. So we’re watching, as always, to make sure that all stays well. This, for Patrick, is pretty routine… even if it does cost me some sleep.

Another infection

I’m writing from Primary Children’s hospital again. Tuesday afternoon, Patrick started to act as though he had an upset stomach. I got him settled and he took a nap, but before long woke up upset again. So, as I always do, I took his temperature and lo and behold, he had a fever.

I made a call to the GI on call, Dr. Pohl, and he made arrangements for us to check in to the hospital directly, without going through the E.R.

It was strange to come in without the E.R. routine, but kind of nice, too. The infant unit was full, so they put us in a room in the Children’s Medical Unit just down the hall. As usual, the first few hours were chaos as I gave history, got meds and supplies ordered, and generally got acquainted with the medical staff.

Typical protocol is to draw blood cultures to look for and identify the infection he has. So they call IV team and they draw blood from a vein while the nurse is responsible for drawing blood out of Patrick’s PICC line. They also draw blood to check levels of other important things like blood sugar and electrolytes through his PICC.

Well, Patrick’s PICC line has been tricky and occassionally with clot and not draw back. In this case, neither lumen would draw back. So about 11 p.m. they started soaking it in something to break up clots… but it still wasn’t working.

Finally at midnight things were pretty quiet, even though they didn’t have labs, and I decided I’d better try to get some sleep.

About 2 a.m. things got exciting again. First, his diaper leaked. Right now, Patrick’s ostomy doesn’t have a bag on it (that’s a story in and of itself) and so I had to get up to change it because the combination of creams and powders required to protect the skin against what is essentially stomach acid is pretty complex and not your standard nurse’s experience.

While he was awake, they took his blood pressure and it was frighteningly low.  They checked it about 20 times over the next stretch of time and even though he was awake and uncomfortable, which should raise blood pressure, his was low.

So they finally got his PICC line to draw back and drew some emergency labs to look for dangerous things like low blood sugar, drew blood cultures, and called the ICU to come look at him.

A doctor from the PICU came and looked at him and checked his blood pressure and said that he needed to go downstairs so they could give him medicines to bring his blood pressure back up.

So, at 3 a.m. we packed up and transferred to the PICU. It was odd to be there in my PJ’s giving his medical history. Finally at around 5 things were pretty stable and they recommended that I go get some sleep. So I went and crashed on one of the beds in the parent waiting room.

The next day they explained that sometimes infections cause your blood pressure to drop. Patrick responded very well to the medicines they’d given him, though, and was pretty stable. However, everytime he went to sleep, it would drop again.

Finally after being in the hospital for a full day, the antibiotics started to work. He started to act like he felt better, and his blood pressures came back up.

Thursday afternoon he was doing well enough that they moved him back from the PICU to the Infant Unit. Which is where I’m writing from tonight.

Patrick obviously feels MUCH better! He’s been back to trying to sit and stand and he’s getting stronger and more coordinated all the time.

The tentative plan right now is for us to go home Saturday. As always, when we leave the hospital, all of the nursing duties fall back on Brian and myself, with help from friends and family where possible. He’ll be on two antibiotics and an antifungal because of a diaper rash developing that is most likely yeast. (Antibiotics create the perfect environment for it to grow). With meds every 6 hours at least, sleep will become a very rare commodity again. Of course, as I’m posting this in the middle of the night, you’ll see that it already is.

We’re grateful that this bug seems to be one of the less scary ones. It’s called enterococcus, which lives inside the gut. It most likely either translocated (leaked) into the bloodstream from his gut or got in by accidental contamination of his IV tubing. Any way it goes, it required just 2 antibiotics to treat and Patrick’s central line so far can stay in. In those regards, we consider ourselves very lucky.

Of course we’ll do all we can to keep you updated on what happens from here. Thank you again for all of you do for us.

A day in the life . . .

Things have been pretty calm since we brought Patrick home from the hospital this time. It takes a lot of extra work to keep up on all the new medications he needs, but otherwise life has been calm.

But – it occurs to me that I should state that our calm isn’t exactly the same as others’ calm. Let’s take today as an example. It was a pretty good day.

We got up early today. Patrick woke about hourly through the night because he’s still not used to being at home. I get up and give him a pacifier and put his blankets back on him and he goes right to sleep. I was a bit tired when the alarm went off at 6 to tell me Patrick’s vancomyacin was due. I’d forgotten to take it out of the fridge last night, so I had to run around with it tucked under my arm to get it warm while I got everything else ready.

I prepared a bottle. Disconnected Patrick’s feeding tube, replacement fluids line and ostomy drainage tube. By then he was screaming to be fed so I got him out of the crib and fed him his 1/3 tsp. of formula then rocked him back to sleep. (And me, too). At 7:30 I put him back down to check to make sure Howie was up.

He was pretty awake then, so I went ahead and got him up, changed his ostomy bag and g-tube dressing, flushed his picc line, and got him dressed.

Because we were up so early I decided that it was a good day to go shopping. It’s Howie’s birthday on Sunday so I packed a bottle to give myself extra time to shop. (Patrick eats every 3 hours, which can be a narrow window of opportunity).

I’d been in the store about half an hour when my cell phone rang. It was Patrick’s nurse confirming an appointment for her to come draw blood for labs. It was 11:30 and she wanted to come at 12:15. So I made a mad scramble to focus and finish the grocery shopping so I could get home on time.

At 12 we finally made it out of Wal-mart and I loaded Patrick and the groceries into the car, then shut off his TPN pumps so that the labs would be accurate. (Need to give the blood time to carry off what’s in the PICC line.) I hurried home and just got the groceries into the house and put away and Patrick fed when his nurse knocked on the door.

I gathered up the supplies she’d need for the tests then held him while she drew them. She asked what his last temperature had been, and since I hadn’t taken once since he woke up, she did. It read 99.5.

Any rise in temperature can be an early sign of infection so I stuck a thermometer in my pocket to do temp checks every half hour. Then I took him upstairs to change his diaper only to discover his ostomy bag had leaked. He was pretty mad, but I pulled off a quick change and took his temperature again.. Still high.

I grabbed a quick lunch and put on replacement fluids (saline solution via IV). He needed some anyway and if he runs a fever he needs extra hydration. By then he was getting quite mad and so I piled everything to work on his tubing change around me and snuggled him up in my lap to try to help him sleep.

At 2 I traded replacement fluids for IV antibiotics, and when those were done, started prepping the new day’s TPN. When I opened up the backpack around 2:30 to see what time I had left in the day’s TPN program, I noticed a bad mistake. I’d failed to turn the pumps back on after the blood draw.

Without TPN running, Patrick’s blood sugar plummets, so I hurried and got him a bottle and then gave him a couple of licks of a glucose tablet to help keep him up. I made a record fast tubing change then reprogrammed the pumps to slowly “taper up” the rate of infusion to avoid going from very low blood sugar to something too high.

Finally with TPN running again, Patrick calmed down. But his temp was still between 99 & 99.5. My next option was to try to get him to rest. So we snuggled up on the couch so he would sleep. He’d sleep as long as I was right there holding him. So, while he slept, I talked to his transplant coordinator in Seattle and then sent an e-mail to his GI here to try to get sorted out a positive blood culture that showed up in his labwork last week.

The evening was calmer. Brian worked a bit late which gave me extra time to get dinner ready.

Around 8 we started working on the bedtime routine. One of Patrick’s meds needs to be given on an empty stomach so he gets that around 8:30. Then Brian and I work together to make new formula & bottles for the night and to prime the tubing for the feeding pump that drips formula into his stomach all night. He gets one antibiotic through his g-tube right now. We have to draw it out of a vial with a syringe and then change tips to something that fits his feeding tube and flush it in there.

Then we connect his feeding tube, flush his PICC line to make sure it’s still running well, and change him into P.J.’s. Tonight he gets to sleep in a onesie to help keep his temperature down, though.

At 9, Patrick ate and then curled up and went to sleep. Because Brian was home, we stayed up watching T.V. while we gave antibiotics. He gets 3 at night, plus more replacement fluids. We have to switch medicines and flush lines at 9:30, 10:00 and 11:00 p.m.

And that is why I’m up blogging right now. His last antibiotics are just finishing up, so I need to go take them off and make sure that the unused line is “heparinized” for the night. If I’m quiet, I hope to do it without waking him and make it to bed by midnight.

It sounds like a lot, but this has actually been a mostly relaxing day.. except the part in the middle when Patrick’s TPN was off and he felt awful. Last temp was actually low… so I hope that the other high numbers were a result of the heat of the day or the fact that he’s cutting a few teeth.

Re-evaluation at Seattle Children’s

Sick boy on beanbag

You may have heard that Patrick had a day of office visits scheduled at Seattle Children’s hospital last week. After his cardiac arrest and the many complications that followed, they wanted to see him again to see if anything had changed that would affect his transplant status. They also wanted to look to see if he needed to be listed for a liver transplant.

Daddy & Patrick in the ERWhat you may not have heard is that Patrick was hospitalized Sunday night with another infection. This time it was a staph infection which, if caught early, can be treated through his central line and clear easily or, if more established or more resistent, could become a very persistent infection that can hang on for months.

I called Seattle Children’s and tried to reschedule our appointment. However, Dr. Horslen was going to be away for the next several weeks and they didn’t want him to stay inactive on the transplant list for that long. After a few days and some discussion, we made the decision on Tuesday to have Patrick admitted at Seattle Children’s so they could both treat the infection and do the evaluation.

We got the final go ahead late in the day Tuesday. I was up till 1 a.m. packing.  Wednesday he was discharged from Primary Children’s with just time to go directly to the airport. The flight went well. They only real difficulty was that Patrick’s ostomy bag started leaking at takeoff. Well, and that I got a tad bit lost in the airport because we landed in the international terminal and airports aren’t as well marked when you have to take the back elevator routes.

Nevertheless, we arrived at Seattle Children’s around 6 p.m. – just as they were changing shifts. We met part of the medical team that would be following him and, as usual, wowed them by giving them in writing all the information they really would need. It took some time to get orders written, so we had another late night as labwork and meds came trickling in. It was about 2 a.m. before we made it to bed again.

Smiley in SeattleThe nice thing about being inpatient is that it gave me a sense of what things will be like during his recovery after transplant. We started with an early abdominal ultrasound, specifically a doppler. Yes, this looks a bit like the weather map images, only it shows the flow of blood through the veins. They were looking to see if portal hypertension was developing. (As the liver scars, it starts to send blood through other vessels creating extra blood pressure through them. It can cause lots of complications.)

The team rounded about 10 a.m. It was a big group, about 15 people, including his GI Dr. Horslen, his transplant coordinator, nutritionist, and others who specifically follow him. They had looked at the ultrasound and the labs from the night before and at his labwork. Both looked as good or better than they had in April.

Dr. Horslen came back later in the day to talk to me and said he was very glad we’d come. He’d imagined he’d find Patrick in much worse shape after the reports he’d been getting. He did a physical examination, too, and then said that he didn’t think Patrick’s liver was really in bad shape yet. He said that the problems with his spleen were probably mostly due to the many months of infection that Patrick has been through, meaning that hopefully when he’s healthy, his spleen will improve, too.

We discussed other goals, too… including taking down Patrick’s ostomy and replacing his PICC line with a broviac line when he could have surgery. We’ve been going the rounds on the question on whether or not Patrick should have his g-tube removed, too, before portal hypertension makes it bleed and be more difficult to close. However, Dr. Horslen said he was under the impression it was unused when he recommended that, and that if we were using it, he’d be ok with us leaving it in.

It was great to talk to him and to watch him play with Patrick. Not only is he brilliant, but he has a wonderful bedside manner. It made me happy to remember that there was at least one big reason why we chose Seattle Children’s for transplant.

We also had visits that day from the nutritionist and a care coordinator. And then in the afternoon we got to have a little bit of lazy time. Child Life brought Patrick some bubbles and it was fun to watch him experience those for the first time.

When the nurse came on the night shift and Patrick was playing with her while she took vitals she frowned and said “Do you really have to go home tomorrow?” I was surprised because I’d expected to need to be there at least through the weekend… But before midnight they had me making lists of what would be needed for me to be able to go home on the 5 p.m. flight the next day.

Rounds in the morning confirmed that they felt Patrick could go… assuming that we made sure he got a visit from Dr. Reyes, his surgeon.

The rest of the morning I packed and kind of waited for word that we were really going. A volunteer came to play with Patrick so I’d have hands free. About noon, I still hadn’t heard one way or another, so my nurse started making calls for me. I looked at flights and now there was only 1 left and the price had doubled. But – the insurance company agreed they’d rather pay for extra airfare than another night in the hospital – and so I started working on booking a flight home.

Dr. Reyes came in about 1. We talked again about the importance of taking down Patrick’s ostomy. He told me a bit about starting intestinal transplants in Pittsburgh 15 years ago. (He was on the team that did the first ones.) And he explained how they’d learned that the surgery wasn’t really effective without a strong GI team behind it to make sure the patients stayed healthy. He also explained that one thing they’d learned in that time is that survival rates are better without an ostomy.

I ran our other surgical plans past him (liver biopsy, broviac line, and possibly g-tube.) He looked at me and said, “Leave the g-tube in. He’ll need in later.”  So I guess that settles that.

He left and I immediately went back to booking a flight. Meanwhile, the care coordinator came and brought me a cab voucher. My nurse got Patrick ready and booked the cab while I got the ticket. And I literally hung up the phone, put away a few things, and walked out the door.

Flying HomeThe flight home went smoothly. Howie was there to meet us. We had some adventures waiting on the way home including a flat tire, a broken jack, and eventually a tow home. But at last, we are home.

They discussed Patrick’s transplant status in their meeting yesterday. They were ready to move him back to status 1 for a small bowel. They will not yet list him for a liver. When they checked his labs, though, they found a blood culture positive for infection… so the doctors are discussing what to do now. He’s not sick and it could have been a contaminated sample. But they have to work that out before Patrick’s listing is made active again. Time will tell.

Firsts

We’ve been a very busy little family lately. Patrick is 5 months old now. And in the time since I last posted, we’ve had a lot of firsts. So, here are some highlights.

First giggles
Patrick learned to laugh a while ago, but we didn’t get out and out chuckles until we discovered that the kid who used to scream his head off whenever he got undressed is ticklish and loves to have his clothes off. Dressing and especially weighing are now favorite games… but it’s best when daddy just picks him up without clothes on and tickles his back.

Today we learned that you can also get belly laughs if you squish his cheeks.

First fever
Well, it all started with a cold, that turned into croup. After a week and a half trying to fight it off, Patrick got his first fever. Fortunately, it didn’t go much higher than 100.4 (38 degrees Celsius) and so we were able to have blood cultures drawn at home and his fever was gone in a day. No infection, thankfully. Just a day at home with Mom holding Patrick and taking his temperature every half an hour to make sure it hadn’t hit the danger mark yet.

First necktie
My brother Steven got married at the end of March. Although we were crazy busy working on his wedding cake and pictures, I just couldn’t help taking the opportunity to make Patrick and Brian matching neckties. We bought a tie with a matching handkerchief. Patrick thought his tie was a great toy to hold and chew on.

Oh, and a disclaimer on this picture. Patrick hates bright lights of any kind and we had studio lights on. Someday we’ll get a family picture with him not crying.

First rollover
I set Patrick down and turned my back on him for just a minute. When I turned back, he was on his tummy looking up at me as if to say “Whoa, Mom! What do I do now?” So far no signs of him having any idea how he did this or how to do it again. But we’re having much more play time on the floor to encourage him.

First haircut
After weeks of trying, we finally got time to take Patrick to my Grandpa’s house for his first haircut. In my defense (for those of you who thought I should never cut it), his hair was in his eyes and under his chin. Patrick was ok with the whole haircut idea till we hit the ticklish spot behind his ears. Finally, though, he fell asleep and we were able to finish. It’s a nice short cut.. but we hope that means it can grow for a while again before it needs another cut.

First ER visit
Last Saturday night, I noticed some bleeding under the dressing for Patrick’s central line. The line had shifted and, on closer inspection, we found that it had been pulled. It didn’t pull out, but was far enough to worry us. So – we got to make our first trip to the ER.

We were probably quite the sight there because, unlike the other families, we weren’t panicked. Central line issues are just part of life with Patrick. We’ve been planning and practicing for this trip for a while.

We arrived at 10:30 p.m. and had a bit of a wait in the waiting room because we were definitely not the most urgent case there. They took some x-rays to see the position of the line and about 1 a.m. the surgeon who placed Patrick’s line came into the room. He had been called in for an emergency appendectomy, and stopped in to see Patrick while he was there. He looked at it and said that the line was in a good position and he didn’t think it needed to be replaced on an emergency basis. Instead, we were to put antibacterial ointment on it twice a day to prevent infection, which meant lots of dressing changes, and then get a second opinion on Monday.

We were amazed, but happy, and after teaching an E.R. nurse proper technique for dressing change (yes, us teaching her), we were sent home. We got home at 3:30 a.m., connected Patrick’s feeding tube, and slept in till 11:30 a.m.

First outpatient surgery
So that brings us to Monday. About a month and a half ago we started the battle of the granulation tissue. Patrick had a patch of it next to his stoma that just kept growing back, no matter what we did. We learned to use silver nitrate to treat it, but it just kept coming back. So – we decided that maybe it was doing no harm and we’d leave it as it was.

No sooner had we made that decision than I discovered that his g-tube was surrounded by granulation tissue. A visit with the nurse practitioner in the GI clinic taught me better technique for nitrate treatments and after 10 miserable days of treatments, his G-tube site was clear of it. However, the spot by his stoma was starting to make it hard to keep a bag on and his skin was getting sorer by the day. I tried my newly practiced skills, but the tissue just kept coming back

So, we called and scheduled an appointment to have it electrocauterized. This is a minor procedure, but it’s painful and so they put babies to under so they don’t have to suffer through it. The surgeon we saw in the E.R. told us to as for follow-up at our appointment on Monday. It was still looking sore and red and swollen and the surgeon didn’t like the look of it, so he decided it was best to change the central line.

This means that they took it out of one vein and put it into another one, coming out in a different place on his chest. Again, this is something we’d been warned about, so it wasn’t a complete shock. However, we were a bit nervous and, after an already long weekend, quite tired.

The surgery went well. Patrick woke up and was able to come off the ventilator in no time at all. He was, as always, a favorite with the nurses in post-op. Brian got to reconnect his TPN in post-op, which was kind of funny to do. Our nurse was fascinated with the different equipment. We got some curious looks as Brian drew up vitamins with syringes and injected them into the IV bags.

It’s a curious thing to be the old pro parents in the hospital. I often refer to myself as a “hospital mom”. We know the routine. We’re patient with the nurses, doctors, and other staff and, although we are concerned for Patrick, we are not scared or intimidated by our surroundings as we once used to be. It’s kind of odd to feel perfectly at home in a hospital… But makes all of this more bearable.

Patrick was sore and tired for a day and still whimpers if we move his not-quite-healed shoulder the wrong way… But overall he’s back to himself. As for Howie and myself, well, we’re slowly but surely catching up on our sleep and getting back to a normal routine. And preparing for the adventures ahead.

First steps to transplant
And that brings us to the last of the firsts for this entry. We have made the first steps towards transplant evaluation for Patrick. We have appointments for April 27th and 28th at Seattle Children’s Hospital to meet with the surgeon, gastrointerologist and just about anyone else who might have anything at all to do with Patrick’s transplant. Theevalution process is big, long, and very detailed. They want to make sure that Patrick needs and will benefit from a transplant, that he’s healthy enough to have one, and that his home life lends itself to as successful of a recovery as possible. This trip is the first step in that process, and we are excited to go and learn and start building relationships there.

Patrick still has a long way to grow. He’s almost halfway to the 10 kilo weight goal. (He weighs 10 lbs 11 oz.), and so we know this visit won’t end with him on a list. But it’s a start and a step in the right direction.

And so, those are the firsts we have to report for the time being. We’re looking forward to continuing to see him learn and grow. He is so good at using his hands now! And has just started to discover that he has feet. His spirit grows by leaps and bounds every day. Most of all, he amazes us with his incredible patience and optimism.

Sealing and blessing

As of 4:10 p.m. on February 13th, Patrick is officially a member of our eternal family!

We started out the weekend’s events with a little bit of humbling. Howie took the day off to help get the house ready and I was going nuts trying to take care of every little detail from ironing temple clothes to prepping food for the open house. But, a flat tire on the freeway ay 10:30 the night before we went to the temple was a good pull back into reality. Changing the tire was easy, but it revealed other bigger problems and we made it home on a prayer and half a rotor on the front passenger side. Boy did my priorities realign quickly, especially as I watched our car be taken away on a tow truck, just trusting that we’d get through the weekend all right anyway.

Howie’s family helped get the church set up for us to go the temple, and then his mom made it here just on time to watch Patrick while we got dressed to go. She drove us to the temple and we tried took a few pictures. Although it was sunny, the wind was bitter cold and Patrick was NOT happy so we didn’t stay too long.
My mom and dad met us at the temple. Mom was there to take care of Patrick in the nursery. (Including dressing him and reconnecting his IV’s). We left him there in capable hands and then went off to get dressed in white.

We met the sealer (this is the official title for the man who performs a sealing ceremony in the temple). Turns out he had been the community doctor in the town where my family grew up, so he knew my grandparents and dad, and some of my mom’s family, too.

They kept trying to start early… But my grandpa and some of my friends hadn’t made it there yet.. So we just made everyone wait. Our friend Tifanie was so excited that she couldn’t contain herself and ran over and gave me a hug… making everyone cry.

Finally everyone all of the guests had arrived and they went and got the man of the hour. My mom brought him in, dressed in a white tuxedo and wrapped in a white afghan she made just for the occasion. Brian and I knelt across the altar from each other, holding hands, and Brian’s mom brought Patrick and laid his little hand on ours. At first, he was a bit fussy, but we turned him around so his right hand would be on ours, and he caught my eye, and he settled down immediately. We watched each other’s eyes the whole time.

A sealing for a child is quite short… just a few lines said by the sealer that bind the child to his or her parents (in the eternal record) and then promise special blessings. Patrick seemed to soak up the entire experience, and then, completely content, went right to sleep as soon as it was over and I had him in my arms.

We celebrated and welcomed him into the family that evening with an open house at the church. I went smoothly (thanks in part to awesome family who helped with the food prep, set up, and clean up). There were enough people there that I couldn’t quite make it to talk to them all. Finally we wrapped up, cleaned up, and got home COMPLETELY exhausted! And with way, way, WAY too many leftovers. I think next open house I’m going with punch and cookies.

Saturday we got to recoup a bit as we visited with family, which was nice because we knew Sunday would be another big day. Patrick got to know his cousins and aunts and uncles a bit better.

Sunday morning Patrick could barely sleep. After his morning feeding, I sat in his room holding him and he just kept waking up and grinning at me. I swear he knew what was going on that day.

Because he had us up early, we were able to take our time getting ready. He spent a little time cuddled with his Daddy in the bed, and then we got him dressed and ready for church. Our ward has classes first, followed by sacrament meeting, so I went off to Primary with the children and Patrick went with Brian to his classes.

We snuck out a bit early to change Patrick into his white tux… and luck of all luck… found that his ostomy bag had started to leak. Luckily, by now Howie and I are a pretty smooth team and we were able to pull of a pretty amazing quick change in one of the classrooms and still make it to the chapel on time.

When the time came, Brian took Patrick to the front of the chapel. Brian is an Elder in our church, and his brothers, some of my brothers, our fathers, and my grandfather are also priesthood holders, and therefore could help with the ordinance. They surrounded Patrick, each with one hand holding him, and then Brian performed the blessing.

In a baby blessing, the child is given a name and then given personalized blessings. Among other things I remember from the blessing, Patrick was reminded of the love that brought him into our family – both our love and the love of his birthfamily. He blessed him with strength to face the difficult medical journey ahead. He reminded him that he was a child of miracles.

When they came back to sit beside me, Patrick was just glowing. His daddy held him and I could see the love that they had for each other. I also knew, as I looked at Patrick, that he understood all that had gone over the weekend and was happy about it. I really believe that, although he was adopted, the Lord promised He would waste no time in making sure that Patrick received these two very important ordinances.

Since then, well, I can’t quite get enough of my son. I don’t know what the future hold, though I’m sure there are rough times ahead. But I do know that I was blessed with a very special gift and a very important calling in this life when I was given the opportunity to be Patrick’s mom. And I will never forget the day he was sealed a part of our family forever.